


Shit Down (The second attempt)

by Ezzy_Ezz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, First year chat, Gen, Group chat, I’m sorry but I couldn’t ignore it, M/M, Many different chats, Mild chapt 387 spoilers, Multi, Polyamory, Pretty setter chat, Rare Pairings, Timeline is messed up but at some point it’ll make sense, captain chat, hopefully funny, inspired by other fics, kags deserves better, no beta we die like men, very homosexual characters, who am I kidding I’m not funny, you get the drill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23027599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ezzy_Ezz/pseuds/Ezzy_Ezz
Summary: (if any of you have read Shit down the first attempt please delete that from your brains)Sugar created the chat; “Karasuno fight”Sugar added 15 membersSugar: I figured, I’m already in 20 different vb chats why not have a team one?
Relationships: & many more - Relationship, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Daishou Suguru/Kozume Kenma, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Futakuchi Kenji/Moniwa Kaname, Goshiki Tsutomu/Yamagata Hayato, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hirugami Sachirou/Hoshiumi Kourai, Inuoka Sou/Shibayama Yuuki, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kawanishi Taichi/Oohira Reon/Tendou Satori, Kawanishi Taichi/Tendou Satori, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Koganegawa Kanji/Sakunami Kousuke, Komi Haruki/Sarukui Yamato, Komori Motoya/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Konoha Akinori/Semi Eita, Kuguri Naoyasu/Numai Kazuma, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Miya Atsumu/Watari Shinji, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Onaga Wataru/Washio Tatsuki, Oohira Reon/Tendou Satori, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Shirabu Kenjirou/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin, Tanaka Saeko/Tsukishima Akiteru/Udai Tenma, Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 67
Kudos: 381
Collections: Haikyuu!!





	1. Karasuno finally has a chat

**Author's Note:**

> Starring in this chapter;
> 
> Sugar - Suga  
> Dadchi - Daichi  
> Jesus - Asahi  
> NishinOYA - Nishinoya  
> Dopeman.Com - Tanaka  
> Eh-No-Shit - Ennoshita  
> Gucciman - Yamaguchi  
> Tsukishima - Tsukishima Kei  
> Tangerineman - Hinata  
> Kageyama - Kageyama  
> Deadass - Ukai Keishin  
> Anxiety - Takeda  
> Kiyoko - Kiyoko  
> memes4life - Yachi  
> Naruto - Narita  
> Kinoooo - Kinoshita

**Sugar** _**created the chat “Karasuno Fight!”**_

_**Sugar added 15 members** _

_5:50 am_

**Sugar** **:** I figured, I’m already in like 20 chats, why not have a team one? 

**Tsukishima** **:** Yeah well, unlike you

 **Tsukishima:** I’m not exactly trying to socialise so

_Tsukishima kei is offline_

**Tangerineman:** well that wasn’t very cash money of him >:( 

**Kinoooo :** excuse y’all

 **NishinOYA** : y’all

 **Dopeman.com** : y’all

 **Kinoooo:** I’m going to ignore that

 **Kinoooo** : but you are aware that it’s 5:50 am right? 

**Naruto** : Sleep? 

**Naruto** : who is she?! 

**Kinoooo** : I must admit, Narita, I didn’t expect this betrayl from you

 **Dopeman.com** : betrayl

 **Kinoooo** : Fuck u 

**Dopeman.com** : that’s gay

 **Kinoooo** : but you’re gay

 **Dopeman.com** : point taken

 **Deadass** : KIDS

 **NishinOYA** : lmao coach you can’t tie us down

 **NishinOYA** : we’re free teenagers

 **NishinOYA** : just living the life

 **NishinOYA** : feeling the wind in our hair

 **Anxiety** : boys...

 **Naruto** : we’ll listen to your husbando though

 **Dopeman.com** : RUN

_8 members are offline_

_10:20 am_

**Tangerineman** : I JUST REALISED

 **Sugar** : what?

 **Tangerineman** : our team is JUST like a family of crwos!! 

**Naruto** : ??

 **Tangerineman** : Yeah!!! 

**Tangerineman** : in some families of crows (or murders lol) the older siblings take care of the younger ones to help the parents!! 

**Sugar** : are you saying that me and daichi are your older siblings and _not_ the parents?!

 **Tangerineman** : I mean...

 **Tangerineman** : hypothetically, if we were considering coach and takeda as our parents

 **Tsukishima** : I’d ask why you know so much about birds but I’m more interested in the fact that you knew how to spell hypothetically 

**Tangerineman** : RUDE!!!

 **Tanerineman** : the phone told me how to...

 **Kageyama** : Do I have to endure bird facts in every single chat with you??

 **Naruto** : what do you mean?? 

**Gucciman** : Hinata knows a lot about birds

 **Gucciman** : and at random hours of the day he’ll just spout random facts 

**Tangerineman** : but birds are so coool!! 

**Sugar** : why am I not surprised 

**Tsukishima** : he could dedicate himself this much to any topic

 **Tsukishima** : and he chose birds

 **Dadchi** : guys you are aware that you are in class right

 **Tangerineman** : yeah! But birds are so much more interesting than English

 **Dadchi** : it’s break time in 20 minutes!! 

**Dadchi** : and you’d have 20 minutes to say all you want about them

 **Dadchi** : and what’s everyone else’s explanation huh? 

**Sugar** : free period

 **Dadchi** : no you don’t 

**Sugar** : damn it Daichi just let me have funnn

 **Kageyama** : Hinata just had his phone taken away

 **Kageyama** : serves the bastard right

 **Dadchi** : may it serve as a lesson to you all

 **Dadchi** : now get off your phones and pay attention! 

**Naruto** : yes dad..

_5:00 pm_

**memes4life** : why is Noya-san so happy? 

**Kiyoko** : isn’t he always excitable?

 **memes4lifes** : yeah but

 **memes4life** : he’s _really_ excited rn

 **Sugar** : he’s just happy because asahi finally gave him his birthday present after MONTHS

 **memes4life** : isn’t his birthday in October? What took him so long??

 **jesus** : I was saving up...

 **memes4life** : oh! Sorry Azumane-san!!

 **jesus** : it’s okay Yachi

 **Sugar** : also because you were busy fretting over whether or not it was the right gift

 **jesus** : I just wanted it to be perfect!!

 **Sugar** : god I can’t wait to see how much you’ll worry for his 18th birthday 

**jesus** : oof don’t remind me 

**Kinoooo** : so what did you get him?

 **jesus** : ummmm

 **Sugar** : he got tickets for a week-long trip to the seaside

 **memes4life** : THAT’S SO CUTE!! 

**NishinOYA** : YEAH!

 **NishinOYA** : it was worth the wait

 **jesus** : :))

 **Tsukishima** : ugh you’re sickeningly cute

 **NishinOYA** : I don’t know whether or not to take that as an insult

 **Gucciman** : Tsukki!!

 **Gucciman** : it’s not like you’re much better

 **Dopeman.com** : OUR TSUKISHIMA???

 **Dopeman.com** : dsting someone?!?!

 **Tsukishima** : dating*

 **Kageyama** : he isn’t denying it 

**Tsukishima** : shut up king

 **Tangerineman** : don’t call him king! 

**NishinOYA** : OWO what’s this??

 **Tsukishima** : kill me now

 **NishinOYA** : _my_ precious kouhai?? Dating someone??

 **Tsukishima** : first of all I’m not your precious anything

 **Tsukishima** : second of all

 **Tsukishima** : yes I am

 **Tsukishima** : happy now??

 **Dopeman.com** : WHO 

**Sugar** : As your mother

 **Sugar** : I _should_ say that we should stop harassing him

 **Sugar** : but we all know I’m not that kinda ma

 **Sugar** : spill the tea tsukishima

 **Tsukishima** : I’m dating a guy

 **Dopeman.com** : we’re all gay here it’s coo

 **Naruto** : I’m straight

 **Naruto** : a lonely thing to be in vb

 **Kinoooo** : I’m ace :/

 **Kinoooo** : asexual not aro

 **Dopeman.com** : ahem I’ll correct myself

 **Dopeman.com** : we’re all allies here it’s coo

 **Tsukishima** : yeah I know

 **Tsukishima** : it’s not that I’m worried about

 **Tangerineman** : he’s worried dadchi is going to kill him

 **Naruto** : and how do you know this exactly? 

**Tangerineman** : me and Tsukishima are great friends!!

 **Kinoooo** : mmm.. I beg to differ, and so does your track record

 **Tangerineman** : it’s true!!!

 **Tsukishima** : ugh... 

**Tsukishima** : it is 

**NishinOYA** : as cute as their friendship is

 **NishinOYA** : I still wanna know who the boy is

 **Tsukishima** : fine

 **Tsukishima** : I’m dating Kuroo

 **Naruto** : wait wait wait

 **Dopeman**.com: as in

 **Dopeman.com** : _Nekoma_ Kuroo!??

 **Tangerineman** : yep :))

 **NishinOYA** : why would dadchi be mad about that??

 **Tsukishima** : I don’t know why but

 **Tsukishima** : They have some weird sorta rivalry going on

 **Dadchi** : nonsense Tsukishima!!

 **Dadchi** : I’m very happy for you both

 **Dadchi** : but I’ll enjoy beating him up if you break up

 **Tsukishima** : thanks I guess

 **Sugar** : how did it even happen??

 **Tangerineman** : I’ll tell the story since Tsukishima won’t tell it well

 **Tangerineman** : they got to know each other at the camp obv 

**Tangerineman** : and after kuroo kept on pestering tsukki to practice blocks

**Tsukishima** : don’t call me tsukki

**Tangerineman** : shut up tsukki

**Tangerineman** : anyway after that they started hanging out outside of practice too

**Tsukishima** : yeah and at first you thought it was secret middle blocker practice

**Tangerineman** : shut up!!

**Kageyama** : he kept on complaining about not being invited

**Tangerineman** : ANYWAY

**Tangerineman** : and before that period between the camp when we came back

**Tangerineman** : Kuroo asked for his number!!

**Tangerineman** : they texted sooooo much

**Tangerineman** : tsukki barely had time to text me :((

**Gucciman** : or me :((

**Sugar** : oh no the babies are sad

**Kageyama** : uh

**Kageyama** : so what happened next ?

**Tangerineman** : OH! yeah so when we came back I overheard Kuroo pining and complaining to bokuto

**Tangerineman** : so I told Kuroo to go for it, which he obviously tried to do and failed

**Dopeman.com** : failed?

**Tangerineman** : yeah because tsukki asked him out first

**Dadchi** : yusss

**Gucciman** : and ever since then they’ve texted every day and are terribly sweet when they see each other

**Tangerineman** : the end

**Deadass** : guys practice in 10

**Tangerineman** : oh sHOOT!

_10:00 pm_

**NishinOYA** : I need your vote guys

**NishinOYA** : the libero chat already gave their votes, which I will not reveal

**NishinOYA** : should I get a baby bunny?

**memes4life** : cute!!

**Tsukishima** : can you take care of a living creature?

**Gucciman** : don’t be so mean

**Gucciman** : but you totally should Noya

**NishinOYA** : or a hedgehog

**Tsukishima** : how?? Did we go from bunny to hedgehog??

**memes4life** : can you even have a hedgehog as a pet??

**NishinOYA** : you totally can!! Isn’t that so cool??

**Tangerineman** : SO cool

**Dadchi** : I’m not even going to comment

**Anxiety** : do you know how to take care of a hedgehog?

**NishinOYA** : yep!

**NishinOYA** : I had the expert dudes explain it to me

**Anxiety** : then

**Anxiety** : I don’t see why not??

**Anxiety** : oh god I’m actually condoning this aren’t I?

**NishinOYA** : so? H or B?

**Tangerineman** : H!

**Dopeman.com** : H! Of course bro! 

**jesus** : both, as long as you’re happy

**NishinOYA** :  🥺

**memes4life** : b

**Kiyoko** : b

**Sugar** : H

**Kageyama** : uhh h?

**Dadchi** : b

**Sugar** : h

**Kinoooo** : h 

**Eh-no-shit** : h

**Naruto** : h

**Tsukishima** : I literally can’t find it in me to care

**Gucciman** : h

**NishinOYA** : aight!

**NishinOYA** : I’m getting a hedgehog !!!

**Eh-no-shit** : good night now

**Dopeman.com** : it’s a tad early chika

**Dadchi** : _good night now_

**Dopeman.com** : night everyone!

_4:00 am_

_Naruto changed ‘Tsukishima’s name to ‘saltybaguette’_

_Naruto changed ‘Kageyama’s name to ‘heneedsomemilk’_

_Naruto is offline_

_5:00 am_

_saltybaguette changed their name to ‘killme’_

_Tangerineman changed ‘heneedsomemilk’s name to ‘SwageyamaTobiyolo’_

_7:30 am_

**Dadchi** : uhm

**Dadchi** : Kageyama why are you late to practice?

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : Momo isn’t letting me leave

**Sugar** : Kageyama!! How could you betray Hinata like that?

**Tangerineman** : betray me?? she’s his cat

**Dopeman.com** : you have a cat????

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : 4 actually

**Tangerineman** : but Momo is the cutest one!

**Tangerineman** : she looks like the cat version of kags

**Sugar** : why did we not know that Kageyama has 4 cats?

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : uh

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : I didn’t consider it as relevant information?

**Sugar** : it totally is though

**Dadchi** : can we please get back to practice?

**Sugar** : fine..

**Sugar** : but we’ll get back to this

_Sugar and Dadchi are offline_

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : okay I managed to make her stay inside

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : I’m on my way

**Tangerineman** : I still don’t understand what Suga meant by ‘beatray Hinata’

_11:00 am_

**Sugar** : that’s it!!

**Sugar** : to repay us for not telling us about your cats

**Sugar** : we’ll have a sleepover at your house

**Sugar** : and we’ll spend the night petting cats

**jesus** : shouldn’t  Kageyama be the one who proposes the idea

**jesus** : and not, you know

**jesus** : you forcing him?

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : alright?

**Sugar** : yuss

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : is this Saturday okay?

**Sugar** : yup!

**killme** : sure I’ll come

**killme** : but only because I know Kuroo will be awfully jealous that I spent the night petting cats

**Tangerineman** : I’m excited!! 

**Tangerineman** : I haven’t seen your cats since our last sleepover 

**Kiyoko** : how are you still not together

**killme** : ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/


	2. So, sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Appearing in this chapter;
> 
> CalmDownBokuto - Akaashi  
> SwageyamaTobiyolo - Kageyama  
> Sugar - Suga  
> Spaceboi - Oikawa  
> Yahoe - Yahaba  
> Kozoom - Kenma  
> KOGANE - Koganegawa  
> Semiretired- Semi  
> Setterboo - Shirabu  
> pervert - Miya Atsumu  
> MontyPython - Moniwa  
> Takemeout - Takeharu  
> wet - Watari  
> NishinOYA - Nishinoya  
> Kickit - Yaku  
> shortwall - Sakunami  
> datboii - Komi  
> Eyebrows - Komori  
> Imadog - Shibayama  
> Yam - Yamagata

_~ chat: pretty setters ~_

_14:00 pm_

**Atchoomu** : so,

 **Atchoomu** : sex

 **Semiretired** : omfg here we go again

_Sugar changed ‘Atchoomu’s name to ‘pervert’_

**pervert** : don’t be a prude 

**Spaceboi** : Yeah it’s only natural 

**Semiretired** : I’m not sure speaking about these things in detail with your friends is

 **pervert** : details, my friend

 **CalmDownBokuto** : fine 

**CalmDownBokuto** : so, what are you sexual inquiries today? 

**pervert** : ya see? Akaashi gets it 

**Spaceboi:** he may not give us a lot of deets

 **Spaceboi** : but he sure gives good advice

 **Semiretired** : is this an ad? 

**pervert** : guys guys

 **pervert** : what’s important right now are my sex problems 

**Semiretired** : please, do explain

 **pervert** : so we all know I’m trying to get into Watari’s pants 

**Yahoe** : something that still baffles me to this day

 **pervert** : yeah well he isn’t getting any of my signals >:( 

**Semiretired** : and your signals are..??

 **pervert** : well, clearly I don’t live in Miyagi so I can’t make a grand gesture

 **pervert** : so seminudes mostly

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : jesus christ

 **pervert** : and suggestive flirts:p 

**Yahoe** : so basically

 **Yahoe** : sexting

 **Sugar** : when you cant make grand gestures, make the most disgusting ones you can 🤷

 **pervert** : you get it! 

**Sugar** : I really, seriously, don’t 

**CalmDownBokuto** : and has he returned any of these sexts? 

**pervert** : no :( 

**pervert** : no nudes, no flirts, no nothing

 **CalmDownBokuto** : Have you asked Watari if he was okay with your attempts? 

**pervert** : yeah! I asked him if he was okay with me flirting w him

 **Semiretired** : and was his answer affirmative?

 **pervert** : of course it was!

 **pervert** : I’d never send nudes without consent! That’s douchey

 **Semiretired** : could’ve fooled me 

**Spaceboi** : rude!

 **Spaceboi** : Atsu-chan’s not a creep 

**pervert** : thanks tooru 

**CalmDownBokuto** : but by ‘not reply’ do you mean that he literally doesn’t say anything or that he completely ignores your advances and changes the topic?

 **pervert** : a little bit of both

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : maybe he’s ace? 

**pervert** : no, I asked and he said he’s pan

 **Setterboo** : have you tried

 **Setterboo** : idk

 **Setterboo** : asking him about it? 

**pervert** : no? 

**pervert** : I don’t want to have misunderstood 

**Kozoom** : maybe he’s misunderstood the whole situation

 **KOGANE** : OH! MAYBE TOORU CAN ASK HIM ABOUT IT

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : why do you call him Tooru? 

**KOGANE** : HE SAID I COULD 

**Spaceboi** : why, Tobio, are you jealous 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : I’d rather never have to see you again tbh 

**Spaceboi** : you’ve been hanging out with Iwa-chan too much 🙄 

**Spaceboi** : but yes! I’ll speak to him rn! 

**Yahoe** : maybe he wasn’t the best choice

_~ private chat: wet & Space boi ~_

**Spaceboi** : Shin-chan? 

**wet** : ugh

 **wer** : yes? 

**Spaceboi** : o-o meanie

 **Spaceboi** : how’s it going with Atsu-chan?

 **wet** : it’s not going

 **Spaceboi** : oh 

**Spaceboi** : so you’re not interested in him? 

**wet** : I am! I really am 

**wet** : but I don’t think he is

 **Spaceboi** : ?? But he is though 

**wet** : no I’m pretty sure he just wants sex from me

 **Spaceboi** : one moment pls 

_~ chat: pretty setters ~_

**Spaceboi** : Miya

 **Yahoe** : oh boy

 **Spaceboi** : what do you want with watari? 

**pervert** : I thought it was pretty obvious? 

**Spaceboi** : so, sex

 **pervert** : no! 

**pervert** : well, I mean, yes

 **pervert** : but obviously not only that

 **pervert** : I wanna go out w him

 **Spaceboi** : well you’ve clearly not made that clear to him

 **Spaceboi** : he thinks you’re just in it to get it 

**Spaceboi** : and he’s not into that 

**pervert** : shit I messed up 

_~ private chat: wet & pervert ~_

**pervert** : watari

 **wet** : oh god

 **wet** : oikawa spoke w you didn’t he? 

**pervert** : he did 

**pervert** : but that’s not important 

**pervert** : what’s important is that I’m sorry that I made you feel like I was only texting you for sex

 **pervert** : I really want to be your boyfriend 

**wet** : what a stunning confession

 **pervert** : shut up

 **pervert** : so? 

**wet** : ofc 

**pervert** : great! I’ll come to miyagi as soon as I can get away from Osamu then 

**wet** : aight

 **wet** : we’ll do it when you come then 

**pervert** : aww you read my mind

_~ chat: pretty setters ~_

**pervert** : - _screenshot_ -

 **Setterboo** : uh, tmi? 

**pervert** : so,

 **Semiretired** : here we go again

 **pervert** : any advice for sex with virgins

_KOGANE is offline_

**Setterboo** : you don’t have a subtle bone in your body do ya?

 **pervert** : oh cmon

 **pervert** : when it comes to it all of you have spoken about this so don’t say that shit

 **pervert** : aside from kogane, you’re all perverts

 **Sugar** : fine, I won’t deny that

 **Sugar** : but only because yall have listened to my... intimate problems with daichi

_Sugar changed the chat name to ‘pervert setters’_

**Yahoe** : is this the only pervert chat? 

**CalmDownBokuto** : the 2nd year chat is pretty infested

 **CalmDownBokuto** : but then again, I’m pretty sure that any chat with Terushima and Atsumu would be 

**pervert** : hey! I only talk about sex with you guys!

 **Semiretired** : gee, you truly warm my heart

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : the 1st year chat is also extremely perverted

 **Sugar** : excuse me?

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : yeah, yamaguchi

 **Sugar** : yama who?

 **Spaceboi** : freckles-chan? Him? A pervert?

 **Takemeout** : they had us in the first half not gonna lie 

**Semiretired** : you don’t appear all day and when you do it’s a meme?

 **Takemeout** : awww you missed me semi-san? 

**Setterboo** : is he even capable of emotions? 

**Semiretired** : shut the fuck up shirabu, you nasty ass hoe 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : yeah yamaguchi is a pervert

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : is it that surprising, considering who he has a thing for?

 **Sugar** : who does he have a thing for? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : oh shit

 **Takemeout** : if it’s who I think it is

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : it is

 **Takemeout** : then best not say anything

 **Spaceboi** : shall we change the subject? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : we should

 **Sugar** : now wait a second 

**Yahoe** : so where is Moniwa? 

**pervert** : prolly sucking faces with that bitch Futakuchi 

**Semiretired** : do you even know Futakuchi? 

**pervert** : nah but we facetimed so much before they got together

 **pervert** : because Moniwa’s my main hoe so I needed to help him tf out 

**pervert** : and he’s a big bitch so it was fun tormenting him until he asked Moniwa out

 **Yahoe** : great 

**Kozoom** : he said he was going to Tokyo today

 **Takemeout** : @KOGANE ??

 **KOGANE** : yEP! HE’S GOING TO AN OPEN DAY 

**Semiretired** : finally he’s moving his ass

 **pervert** : fuck I realised you still haven’t answered my question

 **Setterboo** : shit you realised

 **CalmDownBokuto** : well, it could be of use to everyone in the chat 

**CalmDownBokuto** : to be safe

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : yeah I mean if we’re explaining how it works I sorta need to know

 **Takemeout** : for when you finally ask Hinata out? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : yeah 

**Setterboo** : we are not going on another Hinata rant™️, sorry kags 

**Semiretired** : fine, but only if you explain kaashi

 **CalmDownBokuto** : mmmmm

 **CalmDownBokuto** : okay

 **pervert** : yuss

 **CalmDownBokuto** : so first of all, condoms

 **CalmDownBokuto** : you need them

 **CalmDownBokuto** : unless you both get tested for STDs, or one of you have a latex allergy, they are a must

 **CalmDownBokuto** : second of all, lube it up 

**CalmDownBokuto** : it will be unpleasant and difficult for everyone involved if you dont

 **CalmDownBokuto** : prepping is also very important, the bottom has to adjust

 **CalmDownBokuto** : these are just the basics, I’m not getting into any kinky stuff today

 **pervert** : does that mean you’ll explain it at a later date ;)

 **CalmDownBokuto** : how about no

_CalmDownBokuto is offline_

**pervert** : damn that man is gorgeous but so, so cold

 **Semiretired** : stop complaining will ya

 **Semiretired** : he did what you asked

_~ chat: libero libero LIberooo ~_

_16:00 pm_

**NishinOYA** : hey lil mama lemme whisper in your ear 

**Datboii** : tell you something you might like to hear

 **wet** : I got a boyfriend suckerssss

 **Datboii** : EYYYYY

 **Yam** : finally

 **Imadog** : I told you Miya was attracted to you! 

**Eyebrows** : you owe me 100 ¥ and dinner Saku!

 **shortwall** : oh fuck 

**NishinOYA** : don’t despair!

 **NishinOYA** : bets are still on for Yama and Yaku!

 **Datboii** : don’t forget Komori

 **Imadog** : we’re all aware that Komoris bet is based solely on luck though

 **shortwall** : who knows when Sakusa will get his head out of his ass long enough to realise

 **shortwall** : ‘oh hey! The best libero in the prefecture loves me and I love him too!’

 **Eyebrows** : those periods are few and far between 

**NishinOYA** : by tHE WAY 

**NishinOYA** : @Kickit @Imadog I’m disappointed in you

 **NishinOYA** : you didn’t tell me Kuroo and Tsukki are in a relationship 

**Datboii** : excuse me??

 **Kickit** : tHEY’rE WHAT?!

 **Imadog** : oh yeahh!!

 **Imadog** : they’re so cute 😊 

**Kickit** : excuse me I have to go kick a cat with disgusting hair

 **shortwall** : you go do that

_Kickit is offline_

**wet** : is long-distance hard? 

**Yam** : I once had a bf who lived in Tokyo

 **Yam** : and it worked out at the beginning

 **Yam** : it ended because he was an asshole not because of the distance

 **wet** : but atsumu’s an asshole too!

 **Eyebrows** : gee you really did choose a great guy huh?

 **Yam** : if you both put in the work then it’ll be a perfect relationship 

**shortwall** : does anyone have any bets on when Kageyama and Hinata will get together? 

**datboii** : can we not?

 **datboii** : my bank account is empty enough as it is

 **datboii** : I don’t need those two idiots making it worse

 **NishinOYA** : if Shoyou knew all the money he’s costing his senpai

 **NishinOYA** : _he_ ’d buy me Gari Gari for 5 weeks

 **wet** : if he called you senpai it would be the opposite 

**NishinOYA** : yeah true

 **NishinOYA** : but only because he’s my favourite 1st year

 **NishinOYA** : everyone else is an asshole

 **Imadog** : what about yamaguchi?

 **NishinOYA** : _especially_ him!

 **NishinOYA** : aside from the fact that I’m not the best at getting his serves

 **NishinOYA** : he has a dark side

 **NishinOYA** : probably a side effect of being around Tsukki for too long

 **Kickit** : aight I’m back 

**Kickit** : Kuroo’s an asshole

 **NishinOYA** : see? It’s all Tsukki’s fault

 **shortwall** : right

 **wet** : by the way, we’re still up for a Tokyo libero outing this weekend right? 

**Yam** : yep

 **NishinOYA** : I’m gonna get there on Saturday instead of Friday

 **shortwall** : why??

 **NishinOYA** : the team organised a sleepover

 **NishinOYA** : because they found out that Kageyama has cats and now they want to pet them 

**Imadog** : Kageyama has cats? 

**NishinOYA** : apparently 

**Yam** : and you’re having a sleepover because of this 

**NishinOYA** : yep

 **Kickit** : I will never understand your team 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Appearances in this chapter:  
> Tangerineman- Hinata  
> Sugar - Sugawara  
> jesus - Asahi  
> killme - Tsukishima Kei  
> Naruto - Narita  
> Gucciman - Yamaguchi  
> NishinOYA - Nishinoya  
> SwageyamaTobiyolo - Kageyama  
> Dadchi - Daichi  
> Kiyoko - Kiyoko  
> Ohnogo - Onaga  
> Imadog - Shibayama  
> dont - Kunimi  
> rAwr - Lev  
> TurnupTurnip - Kindaichi  
> KOGANE - Koganegawa  
> letmesleep - Kuguri  
> meACE - Goshiki  
> jUMP - Inuoka  
> shortwall - Sakunami

_~ chat: Karasuno Team Chat ~_

_12:00 pm_

**Tangerineman** : GUYS

_14:30 pm_

**Tangerineman** : GUYSSS

_17:00 pm_

**Tangerineman** : HELLOO?? 

**killme** : shit down 

**Sugar** : sorry about him Hinata 

**Sugar** : what’s up?

 **Tangerineman** : Does anyone have a karaoke machine

 **jesus** : uh I do

 **Tangerineman** : can we pleeease use it at the sleepover? 

**Sugar** : that’s so cute! 

**Tangerineman** : so it’s a yes? 

**Sugar** : Asahi has to agree but it’s a yes from me

 **Sugar** : you’ll agree right asahi?

 **jesus** : I would’ve agreed even if you hadn’t threatened me 

**Naruto** : are we just ignoring Tsukki’s bts reference? 

**Sugar** : tbh I still haven’t registered it yet

 **jesus** : I’m not entirely sure how to react

 **Naruto** : right

 **Naruto** : well, I know how to react 

_Naruto changed the chat name to ‘Shit down’_

**Sugar** : oh 

**Sugar** : that seems about right

 **killme** : are you a robot or something? 

**jesus** : wait so the sleepover changed to Friday night right? 

**Sugar** : yeah, Noya was super torn about having to choose between Tokyo and us so it was just easier to have him leave o Saturday 

**Tangerineman** : Noya-san is going to Tokyo?

 **jesus** : yeah some kind of libero outing

 **Tangerineman** : that’s sooo cool

 **Sugar** : don’t let him hear you say that 

**jesus** : the ace chat has never organised an outing 

**Gucciman** : our 1st year chat tried but the details are still in the works

 **Sugar** : I feel like the setters would kill each other 

**jesus** : isn’t the libero chat like kinda wholesome? 

**Sugar** : yeah the few times I’ve seen it they were very cute

 **Sugar** : no perverts or feuds

 **jesus** : just memes and them having fun 

**Gucciman** : just a bunch of excitable weirdos 

**killme** : when you say ‘just memes’

 **killme** : don’t you realise that they’re usually cursed memes? 

**NishinOYA** : _excuse_ me 

**killme** : oh look

 **killme** : if you insult his memes he’ll appear

 **Sugar** : Yamaguchi?

 **Gucciman** : yeah mum? 

**Sugar** : don’t try to bribe me by calling me mum

 **Sugar** : what is this I hear about you being into someone

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : oh shit 

**Gucciman** : ??

 **Sugar** : yeah don’t play dumb

 **killme** : should I kill the king? 

**Tangerineman** : nooo don’t kill kags 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : it slipped out ok? 

**killme** : fine 

**Gucciman** : I have no idea what you mean Suga

 **Dadchi** : ummm

 **Sugar** : help me out here

 **Dadchi** : nah thanks

 **Sugar** : !!!

 **Dadchi** : we shouldn’t invade their privacy 

**Gucciman** : okay fine I have a thing for someone but I won’t tell you who they are

 **Gucciman** : besides

 **Gucciman** : it’s not like we’re in a relationship 

**jesus** : if it’s who I think it is

 **killme** : it is

 **jesus** : best not say anything then

 **Sugar** : this again?? 

**Dadchi** : he’ll tell us in his own time

 **killme** : um how cute are kiyoko and yachi?

 **Tangerineman** : you’re not subtle 

**killme** : I don’t want to hear that from you sho 

**Sugar** : their friendship 🥰 

**killme** : no I still want him to die a painful death

 **Tangerineman** : awww thank you

 **Kiyoko** : Hitoka-chan and I are doing very well thanks

 **NishinOYA** : yayy! I’ll protect both of you at any cost

 **Kiyoko** : who I really want to hear about 

**Kiyoko** : are Hinata and Kageyama

 **Tangerineman** : ummm

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : ajahsgyaaiaj

 **Gucciman** : gay keyboard smash 

**jesus** : I keep on forgetting that Kiyoko is very intense when it comes to Kagehina

 **Naruto** : she is absolutely right though 

**Tangerineman** : there is nothing to hear about?

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : we’re not together

 **Kiyoko** : yet 

_Kiyoko is offline_

**killme** : well then 

**killme** : I also have to go 

_killme is offline_

**Gucciman** : he has a skype call with Kuroo :p

 **Gucciman** : don’t tell him I said that

_Gucciman is offline_

**jesus** : you are aware that he can read right? 

**NishinOYA** : asahiii, you’re late! 

**jesus** : woops sorry I’m almost at the café

_~ chat: cRacK coCaine ~_

**Gucciman** : I am _livid_

 **Ohnogo** : waddup

 **Gucciman** : Kageyama almost revealed everything to Suga

 **Ohnogo** : everything as in

 **Gucciman** : you know exactly what I mean by everything

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : I didn’t mean to alright

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : it just sort of came out

 **Gucciman** : ...

 **Gucciman** : alright I forgive you ^-^

 **Imadog** : you’re terrifying, I hope you know that

 **Ohnogo** : if you’re done with that

 **dont** : we are not getting into another Washio rant thank you very much

 **Ohnogo** : you’re no fun Kunimi :/

 **dont** : thanks

 **rAwr** : Yaku kicked me less than usual today 

**TurnupTurnip** : and that’s progress?

 **rAwr** : yeah!

 **Ohnogo** : to be fair though

 **Ohnogo** : Yaku kicks the people he likes too

 **rAwr** : ughh this is so confusing

 **dont** : it really isn’t 

**Gucciman** : does anyone have good news to report

 **KOGANE** : Sakunami and I WENT ON A DATE TODAY 

**Gucciman** : cute!

 **letmesleep** : uh I hugged Numai today?

 **Ohnogo** : and what did he do

 **letmesleep** : he hugged me back

 **dont** : right

 **letmesleep** : listen 

**letmesleep** : it’s progress alright

 **letmesleep** : I’m completely unmotivated to do anything more about it

 **letmesleep** : he knows this so if he really wants something w me he’ll do the work

 **TurnupTurnip** : I can’t tell if that’s sad or not

 **dont** : I don’t think it is when it comes to Kuguri

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : why is this chat basically just used for our relationship problems

 **rAwr** : that’s insulting! We also use it bcs we’re great friends

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : we are? 

**dont** : umm

 **TurnupTurnip** : yeah? 

**TurnupTurnip** : I thought that was fairly obvious 

**dont** : unless your majesty doesn’t want that ofc 

**Tangerineman** : kags didn’t say that to be mean

 **Tangerineman** : he’s tearing up :p

 **Gucciman** : awwww kags

 **KOGANE** : IM SENDING YOU VIRTUAL HUGS KAGEYAMA 

**rAwr** : SO AM I

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : thanks? 

**Tangerineman** : you’re cute

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : SHUT UP

 **dont** : they really are idiots

_20:00 pm_

**meACE** : washijo will be the death of me

 **Gucciman** : you’re back! 

**Gucciman** : how was the devilish training regime? 

**killme** : I think you can tell how it was by the fact that he’s not using caps 

**meACE** : it’s all your fault 

**dont** : yeah yeah he’s been extra harsh ever since you lost to Karasuno

 **dont** : yada yada

 **dont** : do you know how much work we have to do when we lose to you? 

**dont** : because it’s a lot

 **killme** : your definition for ‘a lot’ isn’t exactly trustworthy 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : I once heard you say that walking from your desk to Kindaichis was the ‘most difficult experience you’d ever had to face in life’

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : and then you said that God hated you 

**dont** : just because I said we’re friends now doesn’t mean I’ll stand for this slander though

 **TurnupTurnip** : is it slander though?

 **TurnupTurnip** : is it? 

**dont** : shut your mouth

 **TurnupTurnip** : you love me ;)

 **dont** : yeah but you’re still a bastard

 **meACE** : after practice

 **meACE** : YAMAGATA COMFORTED ME 

**meACE** : HE WAS ALL LIKE

 **meACE** : ‘Goshiki don’t work yourself too hard, take care of your health, here have some of my water’

 **killme** : did you panic, punch him in the face, turn to run away but trip and fall again? 

**meACE** : nO

 **Gucciman** : what did you do then?

 **meACE** : I STARED AT HIM FOR LIKE 10 MINS BEFORE GRABBING THE WATER BOTTLE AND EMPTYING IT ON MY HEAD

 **dont** : eye-

 **Gucciman** : and how are you feeling?

 **meACE** : LIKE

 **meACE** : like a dumbass :(

 **TurnupTurnip** : nooo honey no

 **Gucciman** : you’re not a dumbass Goshiki

 **Gucciman** : I’m pretty sure that you not hitting him is a major improvement 

**meACE** : really? 

**Gucciman** : yep

 **meACE** : alRIGHTTHJRJSIAI 

**killme** : I will never understand your thought process

 **Gucciman** : hey! No insulting! 

**Gucciman** : want to tell us about your 2 hour long call with Kuroo? 

**Ohnogo** : Is he still ignoring Kenma

 **Gucciman** : ignoring? 

**Imadog** : I wouldn’t call it ignoring exactly

 **killme** : More like he cut his kenma hours from 10 a day to 2 hours a day

 **jUMP** : basically just speaking with him at practice

 **meACE** : oh! HEY INUOKA!

 **jUMP** : 😊 heyy

 **Gucciman** : still don’t understand why he’s ignoring kenma

 **Tangerineman** : because kenma got with snake dude

 **Gucciman** : snake dude?

 **letmesleep** : my captain

 **dont** : get with the program yamaguchi 

**Gucciman** : KENMA IS DATING DAISHOU?!

 **Imadog** : pretty much 

**Tangerineman** : is Kuroo actually mad at him though? 

**killme** : nah 

**killme** : he said he just wants to tease him until he snaps 

**Imadog** : classic 

**meACE** : Should I be concerned?? 

**killme** : don’t be

 **killme** : he’s just a weirdo 

**jUMP** : plus they’ve been friends for years!

 **jUMP** : I doubt that something as silly as a boyfriend would break them apart

 **Gucciman** : like me and Tsukki 

**Gucciman** : dinner is ready! talk to you guys later!

_22:00 pm_

**Tangerineman** : I should’ve never introduced Natsu and Bakageyama

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : what? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : why? 

**Tangerineman** : all she ever does is whine

 **Tangerineman** : ‘when will Tobio nii-chan come over?’ 

**Tangerineman** : ‘Can we have Tobio over for dinner’

 **Tangerineman** : and she keeps on asking me to help her make up games to play with you the next time you come over

 **dont** : Kageyama??

 **dont** : good with kids??

 **dont** : I thought I’d never see the day

 **Tangerineman** : he isn’t 

**Tangerineman** : but for some reason Natsu just loves him

 **Tangerineman** : whenever he comes over she pulls his hair into like 5 different ponytails

 **Tangerineman** : and I always have to pull her away from him

 **shortwall** : your sister is adorable

 **Tangerineman** : she is, but she’s also a whole lot of trouble

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : you love her though

 **Tangerineman** : of course! She’s my sister! 

**Tangerineman** : anyway that’s not what I logged on to text about

 **Tangerineman** : she was just being annoying so that’s the first thing that came out when I started typing 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : but I thought you liked that I get along with your sister

 **Tangerineman** : yeah 

**Tangerineman** : I just don’t like her always begging for me to bring you over

 **Tangerineman** : but you’re distracting me from my news!!

 **shortwall** : what news??

 **Tangerineman** : my dad is coming this weekend! 

**rAwr** : Daichi lives in Miyagi though? 

**Tangerineman** : no not him my other dad

 **shortwall** : your bio dad? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : uhh let’s not talk about him 

**killme** : yeah let’s not

 **killme** : anyway I thought it was supposed to be a surprise sho

 **Tangerineman** : you KNEW?? 

**killme** : well

 **killme** : yeah

 **Tangerineman** : and you still kept it a surprise???!! How sweet!! 

**Ohnogo** : Oh no, someone ruined the suprise?

 **Ohnogo** : aww now Bokuto’s going to be mopey tomorrow 

**Ohnogo** : what happened? 

**Tangerineman** : Bokuto-san called me all excited, asking me what I wanted to do w him this weekend

 **shortwall** : you mean 

**shortwall** : Bokuto Koutarou

 **shortwall** : National top 5 ace 

**shortwall** : is your ‘dad’ ???

 **Tangerineman** : Akaashi too!

 **killme** : for some reason they love him

 **Tangerineman** : yeah! Now it’s like I have two sets of parents

 **Gucciman** : even though Suga and Daichi aren’t too fond of the idea

 **Ohnogo** : Bokuto is dumb

 **Ohnogo** : he kept it a secret for 3 weeks then called you and revealed everything

 **Ohnogo** : just because he forgot the surprise was for you?

 **Tangerineman** : yeah when I asked what he meant he hung up

 **Tangerineman** : Akaashi-san texted me 2 minutes later explaining 

**Tangerineman** : then he left to go cheer Bokuto up 

**Ohnogo** : thank god, it should lessen our load tomorrow

 **rAwr** : Akaashi and Bokuto have the cutest relationship 

**Tangerineman** : yep! 

**Tangerineman** : oh god my sister is starting up again, I should go

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : night

 **Tangerineman** : not you dummy I’ll call you later

_Tangerineman is offline_

**Gucciman** : all of us should start heading to bed 

**letmesleep** : thank god for sleep

 **rAwr** : night!

_8 people are offline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why are there so many second years?  
> Appearances in this chapter:~  
> DomainDopeman - Tanaka  
> fuckboi - Terushima  
> CalmDownBokuto - Akaashi  
> NishinOYA - Nishinoya  
> Kinoooo - Kinoshita  
> Eh-no-shit - Ennoshita  
> Setterboo - Shirabu  
> Naruto - Narita  
> Grr - Kyoutani  
> Yahoe - Yahaba  
> manipulator - Futakuchi  
> BANANAPOWER - Yamamoto  
> eyebrows - Komori  
> cleanestboi - Sakusa  
> CAWCAW - Hoshiumi  
> movable - Hirugami  
> wet - Watari  
> Takemeout - Takeharu  
> Sugar - Suga  
> SwageyamaTobiyolo - Kageyama  
> killme - Tsukishima  
> jesus - Asahi  
> Gucciman - Yamaguchi  
> Dadchi - Daichi  
> Tangerineman - Hinata  
> memes4life - Yachi

_~ chat: 30-50 feral hogs ~_

_4:57 am_

_Dopeman.com changed their name to DomainDopeman_

**DomainDopeman** : I want to die

 **fuckboi** : that’s quite the thought to be having at 5 am 

**DomainDopeman** : so I may or may not be locked in the locker room with the freak duo, suga and Noya 

**CalmDownBokuto** : how did that even happen?? 

**fuckboi** : I’m surprised you’re not asleep

 **CalmDownBokuto** : sleep is for the weak 

**fuckboi** : HELL YEAH

 **CalmDownBokuto** : also I’ve been living off of espresso and energy drinks for the past 5 days

 **DomainDopeman** : that’s not great 

**fuckboi** : why are you locked up in the locker room again? 

**DomainDopeman** : so obviously the freak duo stayed until v late to practice

 **DomainDopeman** : and sometimes Suga Noya and I stay with them to make sure they don’t get hurt and actually go home at some point

 **DomainDopeman** : well we might’ve gotten really into practice with them

 **DomainDopeman** : and we finished at ten pm

 **CalmDownBokuto** : aren’t there supposed to be like security guards making sure there’s no one left? 

**DomainDopeman** : fuck you and your Tokyo school for rich people

 **CalmDownBokuto** : I feel very attacked right now

 **DomainDopeman** : there are but he doesn’t usually do his s job, plus there’s only one old man

 **DomainDopeman** : so we went to get changed and shit 

**DomainDopeman** : and this man locks us in 

**CalmDownBokuto** : couldn’t you

 **CalmDownBokuto** : oh idk

 **CalmDownBokuto** : yell at him to open up? 

**DomainDopeman** : ofc we did 

**DomainDopeman** : we’re not dumb, he just didn’t hear us

 **fuckboi** : so you’ve been locked in there for the past seven hours? 

**DomainDopeman** : p much 

**NishinOYA** : that’s not even the worst part of it

 **DomainDopeman** : Hinata and Kageyama have been watching buzzfeed unsolved supernatural for the past 3 hours

 **CalmDownBokuto** : my son has great taste

 **DomainDopeman** : yeah except there’s one rule to bfu that everyone knows

 **fuckboi** : you don’t watch bfu supernatural after the sun has set unless you want to be scared shitless

 **NishinOYA** : exactly

 **CalmDownBokuto** : weak

 **CalmDownBokuto** : turn the lights on to make it better then 

**DomainDopeman** : our school shuts the power off after midnight 

**CalmDownBokuto** : oh and you already knew this? 

**NishinOYA** : we may have had a few parties on campus after the power shut off

 **fuckboi** : aww shit that’s dope

 **fuckboi** : I should do that with my team

 **CalmDownBokuto** : what’s Suga doing

 **NishinOYA** : resisting the temptation to call Daichi to come rescue us 

**NishinOYA** : he totally would btw 

**DomainDopeman** : I personally think that it’s better to hold out for Chikara

 **DomainDopeman** : I’m not prepared for Daichis scolding, or for the punishment he’ll give us

 **Kinoooo** : well

 **Kinoooo** : I made the mistake of not putting my phone on silent

 **NishinOYA** : sorry Kinoshita!

 **DomainDopeman** : I hope Hinata and Kageyama don’t pull this stunt again tonight 

**fuckboi** : what’s going on tonight? 

**NishinOYA** : KARASUNO CAT SLEEPOVER WHOOO

 **fuckboi** : sounds like fun :(( 

**DomainDopeman** : sorry man, team only

 **CalmDownBokuto** : maybe you should try to get some sleep before school starts

 **DomainDopeman** : I’ll try...

 **NishinOYA** : I don’t know how effective it will be after bfu 

_6:30 am_

**Eh-no-shit** : Aight I’m coming to bust you guys outta there

 **DomainDopeman** : my knight in shining armour!

 **Setterboo** : after reading the onslaught of messages from this morning 

**Setterboo** : I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re all idiots

 **fuckboi** : thanks! 

**fuckboi** : this coming from a man who has a crush on Ushiwaka

 **Setterboo** : In my defence

 **Setterboo** : he’s hot

 **fuckboi** : true though 🥵 

**Eh-no-shit** : I’m here

 **NishinOYA** : are you going to try with the crowbar or with the keys first

 **Setterboo** : is that even a question? 

**CalmDownBokuto** : don’t question it

 **Grr** : why are you all so fucking loud

 **fuckboi** : now, now

 **fuckboi** : do you need your boyfriend to come and help you relax, mad dog?

 **Grr** : he’s not my boyfriend

 **Yahoe** : I’m not his boyfriend

 **Grr** : also fuck you

 **Naruto** : didn’t you like

 **Narto** : make out with him on the court?

 **Yahoe** : nah I pinned him to the wall

 **fuckboi** : kinky

 **Yahoe** : ;)

 **NishinOYA** : WE’RE FREE

 **DomainDopeman** : FRESH AIR, OH HOW I’VE MISSED YOU

 **CalmDownBokuto** : I’m guessing the keys worked?

 **Eh-no-shit** : yuppbajananak

 **fuckboi** : ??

 **NishinOYA** : Ryu grabbed him and kissed him while he was typing

 **fuckboi** : ah, classic

 **Kinoooo** : Terushima your crush is causing someone an aneurysm 

**fuckboi** : ah, classic

 **manipulator** : why are you all texting at this ungodly hour of the day?

 **Kinoooo** : it’s much better than when these Behemoths woke me up earlier

 **manipulator** : I feel for you 

**manipulator** : It’s strange though I’d expect Kenma to be among you heathens??

 **CalmDownBokuto** : if Kenma isn’t here it’s because of either of two reasons

 **CalmDownBokuto** : 1, he spent the night with Daishou

 **BANANAPOWER** : I hope the fuck not

 **fuckboi** : good morning to you too, Yamamoto

 **CalmDownBokuto** : 2, he spent the whole night playing games and put our chat on silent

 **manipulator** : no Kenma loooooves us

 **Setterboo** : think again Futakuchi

 **Yahoe** : think again Futakuchi

 **fuckboi** : 0o0 

**fuckboi** : Shiratorizawa and Seijoh working together?!

 **Setterboo** : ew

 **Yahoe** : I’d rather shave my head

 **fuckboi** : is that an invitation?

 **Yahoe** : no fuck u

 **eyebrows** : Good morning everyone!! ☀️ 

**cleanestboi** : good morning Komori

 **fuckboi** : my day is better now that Komori is here

 **CAWCAW** : whaddup bitches

 **Yahoe** : ah shit you ruined it

 **CAWCAW** : rude

 **NishinOYA** : HOSHIIIII

 **CAWCAW** : NOYAAAAA

 **NishinOYA** : I miss you :’) 

**CAWCAW** : ugh I promise to visit Miyagi soon, k? Hold out 

**movable** : short people, am I right?

 **NishinOYA** : eXCUSE ME

 **Kozoom** : yeah I spent the night with Daishou

 **BANANAPOWER** : >:( 

**Kozoom** : soz Moto 

**CalmDownBokuto** : hey Kenma

 **CalmDownBokuto** : ah, Bokuto-san is knocking like a madman at my door, I should go

_CalmDownBokuto is offline_

**Naruto** : d’you ever think that Akaashi calls him that just to spite him?

 **manipulator** : wdym?

 **Naruto** : well, I’ve heard Bokuto call him Keiji plenty of times

 **Kozoom** : yes it’s absolutely in spite

 **Yahoe** : school is starting in an hour hoes

 **Yahoe** : move your butts

 **Kozoom** : ugh, but the bed is so comfortable 

**Setterboo** : yeah, I bet sleeping with a snake is amazing

 **BANANAPOWER** : lay off Shirabu 

**Yahoe** : you amaze me 

**Grr** : ah shit 

**Yahoe** : what happened?

 **Grr** : I just saw Oikawa breathe

 **Yahoe** : God I hate it when he does that

 **wet** : can he like, stop? 

**Takemeout** : is it like a thing in your team that everyone hates the captain?

 **Yahoe** : have you seen him?

 **Takemeout** : okay that’s fair

 **cleanestboi** : Takeharu, I don’t understand your username

 **Takemeout** : finally! I’ve been waiting to do a reenactment 

**Takemeout** : Futakuchi, care to join me?

 **manipulator** : ofc

 **Takemeout** : I just want someone to take me out

 **manipulator** : Like on a date or with a sniper gun? 

**Takemeout** : 🥴

 **Takemeout** : surprise me 

**cleanestboi** : okay that was actually pretty funny 

**eyebrows** : you made him c h u c k l e

 **Takemeout** : I made a hot guy chuckle, I can die in peace now! 

**eyebrows** : do you know how long it took me to even make him smile?!

 **cleanestboi** : don’t worry Komori, you’re still my favourite 

**eyebrows** : yeah thank jesus lord almighty 

**Takemeout** : okay...I’m gonna go 

**NishinOYA** : same, I’ll try but idk if I’ll be able to text yall until tomorrow 

**DomainDopeman** : ^

 **Setterboo** : don’t then

 **Setterboo** : it’s not like we’ll miss you

 **fuckboi** : You can’t say that to noya :’) 

**NishinOYA** : :(

 **Setterboo** : yeah I still stand by my statement 

**NishinOYA** : I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU

 **fuckboi** : yeah! Release your inner bakugou!

 **DomainDopeman** : Noya does sound strangely like him though

 **fuckboi** : huh, weird

 **DomainDopeman** : Daichi just got to practice

 **DomainDopeman** : any ideas on a good excuse? 

**fuckboi** : nah you’re on your own man

 **NishinOYA** : thanks

 **DomainDopeman** : our tactic is to distract him with Suga

 **manipulator** : that’ll do it

 **manipulator** : aight I gotta go start practice see you guys later

 **cleanestboi** : me too, bye

 **DomainDopeman** : byeee

_15 people are offline_

_~ chat: Shit down ~_

_16:30 pm_

**Sugar** : we’ll meet up at Kageyama’s place at 17:30 after we’ve all washed up

 **Sugar** : does everyone have his address? 

**jesus** : I don’t 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : I’ll send it to you

 **memes4life** : why aren’t you just going to his place after practice? 

**Naruto** : would you honestly want to spend the afternoon with a big group of sweaty boys, taking turns showering in one bathroom 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : I actually have 4 and a half bathrooms

 **killme** : and a half?

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : there’s a fifth one but sometimes it’s a bathroom, sometimes it isn’t 

**killme** : right, that makes sense

 **Sugar** : how many people live in your house? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : two and a half and four cats 

**Sugar** : why is everything in halves at your house

 **killme** : let me guess

 **killme** : the third one is sometimes a person but sometimes they aren’t 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : no, they just live here for half the year

 **jesus** : you have 4.5 bathroom, but how many bedrooms are there? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : uhhh

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : 6?

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : yeah six

 **Gucciman** : I choked-

 **Sugar** : damn, I wanna be so rich that I forget how many bedrooms I have

 **jesus** : and that’s just for bedrooms??

 **jesus** : what else is there????!!!

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : well two kitchens 

**killme** : one for each person and a quarter of another?

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : a living room and another room that we turned into a small gym/study room

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : my mums office is attached to her bedroom 

**Gucciman** : I never thought I’d say this but

 **Gucciman** : Kageyama is a ritch bitch

 **Tangerineman** : #Kageyamaisarichbitchconfirmed 

**Dadchi** : go get ready everyone! Be on time!! 

**Tangerineman** : yeah I’m almost done riding up the mountain

 **Dadchi** : don’t text and ride! 

**Tangerineman** : ...fiiine

 **NishinOYA** : ride what ;)

* * *

_17:20 pm_

After knocking on the door, Hinata turned around to tie the chain around his bike, turning back around when he’d heard the door opening.

Hinata was well past the stage of being awed by Kageyama’s house, however, the sight of his rival in a domestic setting made butterflies appear in his stomach, along with a weird tingling sensation. 

Kageyama was wearing the blue duo-shade hoodie he usually wore for his morning runs, the one that made his eyes pop. He was also wearing black leggings. The moment in which he saw them, Hinata cursed the world for ever inventing leggings that made Kageyama so fucking hot. Why were his legs so perfect?? His hair looked insanely fluffy after his showed, and all Hinata wanted to do was run his fingers through it. A loud mewl brought his attention to the cat in Kageyama’s arms. 

”hey” Kageyama greeted, in his usual tone. “Oh my God!! Momo!! I’ve missed you” Hinata yelled, scratching the spot behind the cats ears, the one Kageyama had taught him because it was her favourite. In return, the gingers ears were blessed by an appreciative pur. 

“AHHHH!! IT’S TRUE! HE DOES HAVE A CAT” Hinata whipped around to see Tanaka striding towards them, finger pointed at Momo. Besides him, Suga gasped “that must be Momo right? She looks exactly like you”. Hinata turned to face Kageyama, giving him a look that clearly read ‘I told you so’

”I still don’t understand how a cat can look like a human” Kageyama deadpanned “AHAHAHA you BASTARD” Tanaka exclaimed, slapping Kageyama’s shoulder roughly but affectionately. The setter stumbled and Momo jumped to the ground, appearing absolutely done with the whole situation. 

Momo was a beautiful cat, all fluffy black fur. All you could see was black. The only things that stuck out were here stunning blue eyes and her perpetual glare, as if she deemed herself better than everyone else. 

Half an hour later, everyone had arrived and was sprawled across the living room(only after exclaiming they were bamboozled by Kageyama’s wealth about 500 times). Somehow, Nishinoya had brought booze (everyone suspected that he’d convinced Asahi to buy it) that had effectively been stored in the fridge for later that night after a scolding from Daichi about being responsible. The cats had gotten used to the presence of the big group of humans and were sprawled on them by now, all except Momo who stuck firmly by Kageyama’s side. 

Tanaka and Nishinoya were yelling while playing a game of Mario Kart, the latter of whom was sitting on Asahi’s lap while the older man was having a conversation with Suga, his arms encircling the small libero’s waist. Suga’s eyes kept on flickering towards Daichi who was busy organising the nights events with Ennoshita, whiteboard in one hand, pen in the other. Tsukishima was sitting in one of the armchairs, legs pulled up and screen illuminating his face, probably texting Kuroo while having some sort of conversation with Yamaguchi who kept on checking if Suga was listening in on them, Kageyama realised that it was probably because he didn’t want their senpai to find out who they were discussing. Kinoshita and Narita were arguing on what film the team should watch, Kageyama heard a few titles such as ‘Spy kids’ ‘Fateful Findings by Neil Breen’ ‘The Bee movie’ ‘Shrek’ and ‘a Barbie movie marathon’, whatever that meant.

The black haired setter felt the air leave his lungs when he noticed a certain ginger spiker spurring on their libero, much to Tanaka’s chagrin. The boy looked so cute, his frame entirely swallowed up by a hoodie the bastard had most likely stolen from Kageyama. 

Ah shit, he was fucked 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/
> 
> I reread the last few chapters of the original shit down and why was some of it actually ‘quality’ content?? Lmao anyway safe to say that I’ll be including some of that here once I do smth ;)  
> (I won’t tell you what, it’s a surprise!)  
> I’ll continue narrating the sleepover in the next chapter!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of underage drinking!

So, Kageyama surprisingly had the fluffiest cats in existence. This left many members of the team confused as to who could be taking care of them because, from the small amount of information that Kageyama revealed about his personal life, they had understood a few things.

First of all, Kageyama’s mother lived with him but was never home because of work, spending most of the day somewhere else in Japan and coming home in the evening, usually after dinner. His father, on the other hand, lived overseas for half of the year, also because of work. Both of his parents were successful businesspeople who the team had yet to see. 

Second of all, Kageyama was a volleyball nerd, rarely having time for anything else. Even though the guys and girls who confessed to him on a daily basis clearly didn’t understand this. So how in the hell would he have had time to take care of the cats whilst also trying not to be expelled because of his grades?!

The team absolutely refused to believe that they hired someone to groom them, one’s wealth can only go so far. 

“Hey Kageyama?” Ennoshita called out, going on when Kageyama had shown he was listening “who takes care of your cats?”. Kageyama turned to him “uh..on weekends I do and if my parents are home they do. But mostly, it’s our neighbour”. That made sense, so Ennoshita nodded. “Oh! The old cat lady who is always high and has a gun collection!” Hinata exclaimed.

That made a little less sense.

“Isn’t arm possession illegal here?” Tsukishima asked, looking up from his phone. “I’m pretty sure that having a weed stash isn’t exactly legal either” Hinata chirped, earning him a glare from Suga who clearly wasn’t happy about who the first years were hanging out with. “She’s always super nice with us and gives us brownies” the spiker tries to amend. This only seemed to make Suga angrier and Kageyama slapped Hinata’s head “We always throw them away” he reassured quickly, glaring at the ginger

”KAGEYAMA!! THESE ARE YOUR _PARENTS_?!” Nishinoya’s yell broke through the conversation and they all turned to look at the small libero in the hallway, pointing to some family pictures on the wall. The team quickly crowded around the pictures, stunned to find two insanely gorgeous human beings. 

The woman was tall with extremely long legs and slightly tanned skin. Her hair was cut into a short black bob. Although she seemed to be frowning in all the pictures aside from one (an image of her staring lovingly down at a baby Tobio that the team poked fun at profusely) her eyes were of a stunning blue colour, a perfect copy of Kageyama’s.

The man was quite well built and although he looked like Tobio, he somehow also looked like the opposite of him. His hair was also black but it was messy and longer than his son’s. He had a bit of a beard going on and his whole look just screamed that he was fun and outgoing. When he wasn’t wearing his suit for work he was shown wearing tank tops, shorts, flip flops, all sorts of casual wear. His eyes were also blue, even though they were a few shades lighter than the rest of the family, and they sparkled with joy. 

“I guess it’s true that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” Suga stated, continuously switching between looking at their setter and his mother. “Your father looks nothing like you, though” Yamaguchi chirped before pausing and reiterating “Well, he does, but he’s also insanely different” “Sort of like a wild version of you” Daichi added. “Well, Kageyama isn’t a pretty setter for nothing” Tsukishima, surprisingly, reasoned. 

After moving on from the host’s parents, the team settled round the living room to watch some movies. 

Nishinoya was playing with one of the cats, Ritsu, when he suddenly stated “ah darn, I should’ve brought Jerry” “Who is Jerry, exactly?” Kinoshita asked, looking up from the cds of movies the team had brought. “You know, my hedgehog”. Hinata bounced up from his spot against Kageyama’s chest and bounded over to Nishinoya to speak excitedly about Jerry. Eventually, the team told them to shut the fuck up because the movie was starting. 

After three movies, in which Kageyama’s eyes kept on flickering back to Hinata who was tucked against Nishinoya’s side, the setter stood up and announced he was going to start making dinner. Suga followed after him.

”You know, you should totally ask him out” “I don’t know what you’re talking about” “yes you do, c’mon, both of you are my sons-“”Actually I’m pretty sure Hinata is Bokuto and Akaashi’s son””Let’s not talk about that, anyway I have your best interest at heart and it’s clear that you both like each other, so I don’t understand w-“

”He’ll get bored” Kageyama said quietly, staring at the vegetables he was cutting 

“What?” 

“He’ll stay with me, for a while, then he’ll realise that I’m not enough but he’s so kind that he won’t want to move on and I’ll just be a weight on his conscience and I won’t be able to keep up with him because he likes people and I’m not good with them and-“ “I’m not sure staring down the vegetables is going to help” Suga interrupted, resting a hand on his juniors wrists. 

”it’s true that Hinata evolves and grows very fast but I know that you’ll never lose to him there. Hinata loves people but he also loves you and his love is so intense that it will never burn out because he loves everything wholeheartedly and he never gives up on things he loves” while he spoke Suga rested a hand on Kageyama’s face, turning his head to look him in the eyes and brush away his unshed tears with his thumbs.

”Are you sure?””yeah” 

Kageyama sniffled and went back to cutting the vegetables, muttering his thanks to which his senior could only smile in return. 

Half an hour later there was a huge pot of instant ramen on the table, along with a few plates of meat and vegetables 

“why aren’t we having any junk food? That’s a must for sleepovers” Tanaka complained as he sadly pushed a carrot in his mouth. “Because we’re volleyball players” Daichi stated matter-of-factedly “Also because we’re going to wreck our bodies with booze later so we should take all the healthy shit we can” Nishinoya chimed, earning a smack from the captain. “Hinata thought out the whole nutrients of this meal, so appreciate it” Suga declared, earning him the shocked looks of his teammates. 

“What?”

”Hinata knows nutritional values?” Tsukishima asked, baffled. “Hey! These are really important things, you’ve got to balance everything or else it’ll hurt you in the long run, especially if you’re an athlete” the short teenager defended himself “and you can’t apply yourself this much in school subjects, huh?” The blonde shot back, earning him a smack from the shorter male. “Shut up and eat, would’ya?!” Hinata yelled as he slapped his hands together to say his thanks for the food.

_22:00 pm_

While the first years were outside in the garden, passing a ball between them, the older teenagers were cleaning up the kitchen and setting up the futons on the ground so that they could start laying around the living room comfortably and wouldn’t have to do all this when they were drunk off their asses. 

Nishinoya rolled out of the grasp of the cats he was playing with, heading to the kitchen and pulling the bottles he’d brought out of the fridge. 

Asahi sidled next to his boyfriend, helping him while he questioned the ethicality of their actions. “Shut up, you big fool, you complain a lot but you’re still here helping” Nishinoya told him as he struggled to open a bottle of vodka. 

Asahi sighed and stared down at him fondly, looking away only when he heard Suga fake gagging, obviously to chase one of his best friends around the house with a spatula, threatening to hit him.

Once everything was poured into glasses the team was called over to take their pick, and not much was remembered by anyone after the second years started taking shots and a drinking competition had begun. 

_8:30 am_

”ugh”

the complaints of whoever was woken up because of the noise made by a certain second year were heard throughout the room. Everyone was probably way too hungover too function. 

Hearing their suffering, Nishinoya burst out laughing and was swiftly shut up by a pillow hitting him square in the face. 

“Shut up Noya” Tanaka moaned, burrowing farther into the arms of his boyfriend who croaked out “How are you not hungover?” “You know that Nishinoya doesn’t have to suffer through any sort of repercussions after a night of drinking” Narita spoke through a yawn, cracking an eye open “why is Kinoshita tied to a chair?” 

Nishinoya sat down next to his sleeping boyfriend, carding his fingers through his hair and watching as his eyebrows furrowed. “Noya” Asahi whispered with a hoarse voice. When he’d regained some of his consciousness Asahi shot up “are you heading out already?”. Nishinoya laughed again, noticing the pout that graced his lips. “Yeah, the Shinkansen leaves in 25 minutes, thank God Kageyama lives near the station”. Asahi sighed, hugging his boyfriend and whispering his goodbyes.

When Noya finally stood up, a ginger bedhead emerged from the hallways, toothbrush in hand. “Noya-san!” He yelled out, to the chagrin of everyobdy else in the room.

“There’s another one who doesn’t suffer from hangovers” Kinoshita mumbled before exclaiming “WHY AM I TIED TO A CHAIR?”. Another pillow was thrown at him but missed. 

“Shoyo!” Noya said, patting the younger boy’s head affectionately “are you coming with me?” “Yep! Bokuto-san is coming with the train that you’re taking” “Let’s get a move on, then” 

The two boys said their goodbyes to the rest of the team or, at least, to those who were somewhat responsive. 

Kageyama slid out of the kitchen, milk in hand. Hinata shot him a bright smile, bounding over and hugging him tightly “thanks for letting us stay over”

As much as he wanted to reply by insulting the spiker, Kageyama was far too hungover to think so all he could do was squeeze back and mutter a “you’re welcome”, which he would’ve eventually done if he was feeling great anyway. 

_8:50 am_

Those who had just arrived with the bullet train got off, leaving it to a general sweep before the next travellers got on in 10 minutes. 

During those ten minutes the two shortest players of the Karasuno volleyball team were on the platform, trying to spot the easily recognisable hairstyle of the Fukurōdani ace, Bokuto. 

As soon as he’d spotted his pseudo parents, Hinata rushed towards them and jumped to high five Bokuto, Nishinoya close on his tail.

A strong hand ruffled his hair and a voice owned by the body attached to it exclaimed “Hinata! I see you’ve gotten stronger”, Hinata nodded making grabby hands at Akaashi who just smirked and hugged him. “NOYA!!! You look as dope as always bro!” “Thanks bro!” Nishinoya shot back, high fiving Bokuto and Akaashi just as an announcement came out, telling the next passengers that they can start boarding the train.

”that’s my cue to leave” Nishinoya stated, grinning when Hinata all but barrelled over, keen to do their handshake, to which the libero obviously complied because this is his favourite junior we’re talking about.

After saying goodbye to Hinata, Nishinoya waved to the other two and went on his way to Tokyo.

”Gah!! What do you want to do first, shrimpy?” Bokuto asked as they walked out of the station, duffel bags in hand.

”We could-“”We should stop by Daichi’s place and drop off our bags” Akaashi cut in, not in the mood to drag his heavy bags all across town. “Daichi’s place?””yeah we’re staying at his house”

”I would’ve let you stay at my place if you’d asked” Hinata pouted. Akaashi, seeing him like that, cupped his face and soothed his frown with his thumbs “I know, it would’ve been nice, but we were trying to surprise you, before _someone_ ruined it” he looked over at Bokuto who yelped and almost dropped his bag”and it would’ve been hard if we’d asked you to stay over”. Bokuto nodded, stealing Akaashis bag and following directions to the Sawamura household.

”As much as I love you being chivalrous, you don’t have to break your back trying to carry my bag” Akaashi drawled, laying a hand on his boyfriends shoulder and attempting to remove the bag he had stolen. “Nonsense! This is what boyfriends do””plus Bokuto is very strong! You don’t have to worry Akaashi-san!” Hinata chirped, smiling when he saw Akaashi nod, knowingly. He, more than anyone, appreciated Bokuto’s strength. 

When Daichi’s parents answered the door and let them in they made a beeline to the guest room and dropped the bags inside, only after profusely thanking the parents who let them stay in their house without even knowing them. 

“Is Papamura not home?” Bokuto asked as he opened the window to let some fresh air in. “He’s probably still over at kags place, we had a sleepover last night” he explained, seeing their confused looks “also he’s hungover so I doubt you’ll be seeing much of him today” at that, the two Fukurōdani students snorted. “Did you not drink at all last night, shrimpy?””no, I did, but apparently I’m unable to have a hungover”.

Akaashi stared at him with dead eyes “you’re so lucky, you don’t even understand”. Bokuto burst out laughing, grabbing Akaashi and kissing his forehead. “Keiji gets awful ones, even though he can really handle his alcohol the night before” “maybe this isn’t the best topic when there’s parents in the house” Akaashi chimed, urging the duo to leave the house. 

Back on the street, the two of them were bouncing up and down whilst speaking about volleyball, that new manga they’d both liked and Kageyama(a topic brought up mostly by Hinata). Behind them, Akaashi walked at a slower pace, berating them when they disturbed a rare passerby and grinning when he listened to them talking about how awesome Keiji was in the last match.

Keiji breathed in the countryside air and smiled, he was happy. 

“WAH! IT’S USHIJIMA””JAPAN!””LET’S GO CHALLENGE HIM!!” 

Of course, that could only last so long 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How awful is this chapter? Oof
> 
> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Appearing in this chapter:  
> Takemeout - Takeharu  
> CAWCAW - Hoshiumi  
> betterhalf - Miya Osamu  
> Kinoooo - Kinoshita  
> fuckboi - Terushima  
> CalmDownBokuto - Akaashi  
> Setterboo - Shirabu  
> GingerMinge - Taichi  
> DomainDopeman- Tanaka  
> pervert: Miya Atsumu  
> SlutForMattsun - Hanamaki  
> SlutForMakki - Matsukawa  
> Kozoom - Kenma  
> KittySatan - Kuroo  
> wet - Watari  
> Spaceboi - Oikawa  
> Sugar - Suga  
> Deadass - Ukai  
> Anxiety - Takeda  
> HurricaneTortilla - Iwaizumi  
> MontyPython - Moniwa  
> Semiretired - Semi  
> Kickit - Yaku  
> HORNEDOWL - Bokuto  
> Dadchi - Daichi  
> cleanestboi - Sakusa  
> DaddyMaterial - Ushijima  
> manipulator - Futakuchi  
> killme - Tsukishima  
> Yahoe - Yahaba  
> SwageyamaTobiyolo - Kageyama  
> Tangerineman- Hinata  
> TurnupTurnip- Kindaichi  
> dont - Kunimi  
> Gucciman - Yamaguchi

_**A/N: ** _ I know that in the last chapter I explicitly explained Kageyama’s family life but for canon reasons that has all been ripped to shreds so it’s fair to say that anything contradictory in this chapter is because of that. (Furudate Ily but you make me suffer T-T) I’m writing this here in case there’s anyone who doesn’t read the actual notes. This is what will change in accordance to Kags life: in short for this fic Kageyama is still rich and his house is what it is however his mum and dad are now completely absent for work soo that’s it really. The pictures of his parents will remain as what I imagine them to be like except for the one of the mum looking at him lovingly because I’m not entirely sure that that could ever had happened. I know that technically I could do whatever I want with him since it’s a fic but man if I have ever been so touched by a canon backstory. In the rest of this chapter there will be mentions to what his home life is like but we will be exploring the girth of that in later angsty chapters, please be patient and thank you for putting up with me! <3

_~ chat: 30-50 feral hogs ~_

_10:00 am_

**Takemeout:** ladies if he:

 **Takemeout:** never texts you back

 **CAWCAW:** never apologizes 

**betterhalf:** cannot be brought down by small firearms 

**Kinoooo:** stampedes on your small children

 **Takemeout:** he’s not your man 

**betterhalf:** he’s 30-50 feral hogs

 **fuckboi:** hihi 

**Kinoooo:** excuse me 

**Kinoooo:** are you Michael Jackson?

 **Kinoooo:** I think the fuck not

 **Kinoooo:** so stop it with your hihis 

**fuckboi:** HEE HEE

 **CAWCAW:** |>———————-00:10|

 **fuckboi:** noice try but your voice vibrates towards the end 

**fuckboi:** do it like this

 **fuckboi:** |>————————-00:05|

 **Takemeout:** that’s one strong hihi

 **CalmDownBokuto:** you sound like a pig 

**Takemeout:** weren’t you busy trying to pry Bokuto and shrimpy off of UshiWaka?

 **CalmDownBokuto:** he’s buying us ice cream now 

**Kinoooo:** because that’s normal

 **CAWCAW:** |>————————00:30|

 **fuckboi:** a scale of hihis!

 **fuckboi:** I like that! 

**CAWCAW:** I’ve mastered the hihi

 **CalmDownBokuto:** you definitely haven’t mastered grammar though 

**Kinoooo:** periodt

 **CalmDownBokuto:** I trusted you 

**fuckboi:** Hoshi I’ll sing a cappella 

**fuckboi:** you’ll hihi

 **fuckboi:** and we may also be able to coerce Washijo to play the harp for us

 **Setterboo:** Yeah that’s not happening

 **fuckboi:** and then we’ll go sing on the sports channel together! 

**betterhalf:** why the sports channel?

 **fuckboi:** they always have like a music break

 **fuckboi:** and our music is great so we’ll definitely get hired

 **Yahoe:** I beg to differ

 **Takemeout:** then beg 

**Yahoe:** ah fuck I walked right into that one

 **CalmDownBokuto:** Ushijima is asking me to set for him what do I do

 **Setterboo:** HUH?! 

**Yahoe:** calm down bitch 

**Setterboo:** stfu 

**betterhalf:** say yes? 

**CalmDownBokuto:** but then Bokuto will mope 

**Kinoooo:** set to him too then 

**CalmDownBokuto:** ugh ig I’ll do that

 **Setterboo:** I’m on my way

 **GingerMinge** : I just saw Shirabu almost fall down the stairs as he rushed out of the dorms 

**Takemeout:** hey Taichi! 

**Yahoe:** that dumbass

 **Setterboo:** where are you guys?! 

**CalmDownBokuto:** heading to the Karasuno gym

 **DomainDopeman:** EXCUSE YOU 

**Kinoooo:** does Hinata even have the key? 

**CalmDownBokuto:** no but he said he learned how to pick locks 

**DomainDopeman:** that’s great 

**Setterboo:** so some other rando is setting to Ushijima 

**fuckboi:** he’s not a rando bro he’s Akaashi

 **Takemeout:** yeah have you seen him?!

 **fuckboi:** he’s just the most beautiful person on the plant

 **Setterboo:** shit u rite

 **Setterboo:** Akaashi will you toss to me too? 

**CalmDownBokuto:** but you’re a-

 **CalmDownBokuto:** ugh fine whatever

 **GingerMinge:** we all succumb to Akaashi, eventually

 **fuckboi:** you act as if that’s a bad thing 

**betterhalf:** how did Bokuto capture his heart? 

**pervert:** bro 

**betterhalf:** bro 

**pervert:** you’re forgetting

 **pervert:** bokuto has _shoulders_

 **betterhalf:** shit u rite 

**fuckboi:** don’t mind them they’re just the HOTTEST COUPLE AROUND 

**CalmDownBokuto:** Terushima

 **fuckboi** : oi

 **CalmDownBokuto** : what’s this I hear about you giving Hinata an undercut?

 **pervert** : *mother instincts activated*

 **fuckboi** : well

 **fuckboi** : I _am_ an apprentice hair stylist 

**fuckboi** : and he’d look dope

 **DomainDopeman** : but Hinata’s hair is super cute

 **fuckboi** : yeah it won’t be much, just a bit to make him look cooler 

**CalmDownBokuto** : fine 

**fuckboi** : great! 

**fuckboi** : can I also pierce his ear? 

**CalmDownBokuto** : how about no

 **fuckboi** : I’ll try again in a year :p 

**CalmDownBokuto** : you most definitely will not 

**fuckboi** : anyway 

_~ chat: every person I’ve ever fucking met ~_

**fuckboi** : great news everybody! 

**SlutForMattsun** : no not this cursed chat

 **SlutForMakki** : I’m begging you

 **Kozoom** : every time I so much as look at this chat I lag

 **KittySatan** : might have to do with the fact that

 **KittySatan** : as the name of this chat suggests

 **KittySatan** : literally everybody you’ve ever met is in this fucking chat 

**wet** : still don’t understand why Karasuno’s coaches are in this

 **Spaceboi** : excuse me

 **HurricaneTortilla** : you’re excused 

**Spaceboi:** fuck u Iwa-chan

 **Spaceboi** : but the blonde guy is that super hot one from the foothill store near Karasuno

 **wet:** I take back everything I said

 **Sugar:** he’s a setter

 **MontyPython:** does he qualify as a pretty setter then?

 **pervert:** pervert setter*

 **Spaceboi:** we can add him later

 **Anxiety:** I’m...

 **Anxiety:** hip?

 **Anxiety:** yeah totally 

**Spaceboi:** we love you Take-chan

 **fuckboi:** guysssss

 **MontyPython:** yeah?

 **fuckboi:** thank god for Moniwa

 **fuckboi:** but Akaashi’s setting so get your asses over here 

**CalmDownBokuto:** I never said this was something I was offering

 **KittySatan:** why did you have to be in Miyagi now of all times? 

**Semiretired:** Akaashi is the one who’s the most perfect being in existence right? 

**Spaceboi:** subjectively

 **KittySatan:** shut up Tooru that’s just cause you’ve never seen him 

**Spaceboi:** fine

 **Spaceboi:** I’ll go spike his tosses just to see him :p

 **Spaceboi:** actually

 **Spaceboi:** send a pic of him first so I know I’m not wasting my time

 **Kickit:** ask and you shall receive

 **Sugar:** shall I bust out my collection?

 **HORNEDOWL:** no worries guys I’ve got this one

 **HORNEDOWL:**

**HORNEDOWL:**

**HORNEDOWL:**

**SlutForMattsun:** eye-

 **Spaceboi:** I stand corrected 

**Spaceboi:** he’s got green/blue eyes?! Literal perfection 

**SlutforMakki:** fuck this I’m gonna go spike his tosses

 **fuckboi:** great! We’re in the Karasuno gym 

**fuckboi:** I say we but I’m not there yet 

**Dadchi:** you’re in the what? 

**DaddyMaterial:** Hinata Shoyou can pick locks

 **Dadchi:** thank you Ushijima

 **Dadchi:** I’m going to go try not to lose my sanity

 **fuckboi:** by coming here and spiking some tosses? 

**Dadchi :** sure, why not? 

**Spaceboi :** ew

 **Spaceboi** : Ushijima is there? 

**fuckboi** : ye he’s the one who asked Aka first

 **CalmDownBokuto** : please don’t call me aka

 **Spaceboi** : I’m gonna go show him who’s more worthy 

**DaddyMaterial:** will the rest of Karasuno be coming? 

**Sugar:** no we’re all too hungover 

**wet:** none of the liberos will be coming since we’re all in Tokyo! 

**KittySatan:** obviously the Tokyo teams aren’t coming 

**cleanestboi:** a pity

 **cleanestboi:** I’ve always wanted to try spiking Akaashi’s tosses

 **CAWCAW:** I’ve never hated not living in Miyagi before now

 **CalmDownBokuto:** a lot of people showed up, will we get in trouble with the school?

 **Deadass:** nah

 **Anxiety:** if anything happens we’ll just say it was a practice match or something

 **Spaceboi:** Thank you Take-chan!

 **Setterboo:** Karasuno is tiny

 **Sugar:** excuse you 

**Semiretired:** it’s the truth 🤷♀️ 

**SlutforMakki:** I think a member of the basketball team walked in with a teacher 

**Dadchi:** get the basketball team away from our court! 

**Sugar:** what did they want? 

**SlutForMattsun:** they walked in, saw a crowded room filled with people from other schools lining up in front of a gorgeous setter and walked out

 **Dadchi:** that’s what the basketball team gets for trying to step on my court

 **manipulator:** what do you have against them

 **killme:** we still don’t know

 **Dadchi:** fuck them and their sport 

**KittySatan:** I never thought I’d see Daichi being so violent 

**Semiretired:** I just got to Karasuno and ngl this looks like a cult

 **Semiretired:** everyone in the back of the line is on their phone and systematically puts it away once they’re 5 spots away 

**Dadchi:** I’m here w Kageyama

_30 mins later_

**Spaceboi:** Aka-chan looks tired

 **HurricaneTortilla:** great deduction 

**Setterboo:** he has been setting to countless people nonstop for about 20 minutes 

**Yahoe:** I think it’s time for the rest of the pretty setters to step up 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** sure 

**Takemeout:** fiiiine

 **MontyPython:** I guess we have to huh?

 **Spaceboi:** oooh yes~

 **SlutForMattsun:** you can stay put 

**CalmDownBokuto:** I’m gonna go rest for a while 

**HORNEDOWL:** I’ll go with you ( ◜‿◝)♡

**CalmDownBokuto:** it’s okay Bokuto-san, you’re still restless so go have fun with the others

**HORNEDOWL:** would you stop calinfhs me Bokuto-san?!

**HORNEDOWL:** and fine but remember you’re still my favourite <3

**CalmDownBokuto:** *calling 

**CalmDownBokuto:** ...

**CalmDownBokuto:** <3

_ 13:40 pm _

**HurricaneTortilla:** I thought we said we were all going to get lunch now bcs they threw us out

**MontyPython:** we are

**HurricaneTortilla:** where is Kageyama then? 

**Tangerineman:** he’s on the phone 

**Spaceboi:** eh? 

**HurricaneTortilla:** don’t you dare try to listen in

**Spaceboi:** he’s talking to someone called Miwa? 

**HurricaneTortilla:** you are trash 

**Tangerineman:** Miwa? Who’s that?

**Tangerineman:** anyway he’s hanging up 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** I’m not coming to lunch

**Spaceboi:** who is this Miwa? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** can you not? 

**Tangerineman:** uhh 

**Spaceboi:** cmonnn 

**SlutForMakki:** don’t be shy 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** she’s my sister

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** happy?

**TurnupTurnip:** you have a sister?! 

**Tangerineman:** yeah what? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** yeah 

**dont:** we’ve never seen her though 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** she’s in college 

**TurnupTurnip:** right 

**TurnupTurnip** : what about when we were in middle school? 

**dont:** we weren’t friends 

**Gucciman:** how about we all shut up and try not to pry? 

**Sugar:** that was threatening 

**Sugar:** you’ve learnt well :)

**Gucciman:** thanks! 

_ ~ private chat: SwageyamaTobiyolo & Tangerineman ~ _

**Tangerineman:** why aren’t you coming to lunch? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** why are you texting me?

 **Tangerineman:** idk I feel like this is a topic you wouldn’t want to be brought up

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo:** uhh 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** thanks 

**Tangerineman:** so? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** a truck is coming to my house

 **Tangerineman:** ??

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo:** to pick up the rest of my parents stuff that they left in this house 

**Tangerineman:** why? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** I’m guessing they got a new place near work 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** either that

 **Tangerineman** : or?

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo** : doesn’t matter 

**Tangerineman:** do you want me to come? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** you should hang out with Bokuto and Akaashi, you don’t see them often

 **Tangerineman:** yeah but 

**Tangerineman:** you’re sad 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** but my sister is coming 

**Tangerineman:** do you not want me to meet her? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** no it’s just that it doesn’t really matter

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo:** we’ve never really been close 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** but I haven’t seen her in a while 

**Tangerineman:** oh! Take all the time you need then 

**Tangerineman:** I’ll text you this night to see how you’re doing? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** sure dumbass 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/
> 
> One of these convos is taken word by word from an irl one, can you guess which one?  
> MILD chap 387 spoilers I’m sorry that chapter made me cryyyy I needed to let out my emotions somehow


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Appearing in this chapter:  
> Masterofall - Konoha  
> datboii - Komi  
> screeching - Sarukui  
> HORNEDOWL - Bokuto  
> CalmDownBokuto - Akaashi  
> washywashy - Washio  
> Ohnogo - Onaga  
> kirby - Shirofuku  
> freckles - Kaori  
> KittySatan - Kuroo  
> Dadchi - Daichi  
> snek - Daishou  
> S.Kita - Kita  
> DaddyMaterial - Ushijima  
> cleanestboi - Sakusa  
> fuckboi - Terushima  
> manipulator - Futakuchi  
> MontyPython - Moniwa  
> movable - Hirugami  
> Spaceboi - Oikawa  
> killme - Tsukishima  
> DomainDopeman - Tanaka  
> Eh-no-shit - Ennoshita  
> Sugar - Suga  
> Deadass - Ukai  
> Anxiety - Takeda  
> memes4life - Yachi  
> NishinOYA - Nishinoya  
> Naruto - Narita  
> Tangerineman - Hinata

_~ chat: birds of prey ~_

_16:30_

**Masterofall:** could someone please tell me

 **Masterofall:** _why_

**Masterofall:** our court has been _defiled_

 **datboii:** wdym defiled? 

**Masterofall:** there are 

**Masterofall:** f i v e 

**Masterofall** : different teams occupying our courts

 **Masterofall:** emphasis on five and our

 **washywashy:** I never thought I could be so protective of a room 

**freckles:** why do I feel like this has something to do with our main hoe 

**screeching:** our main baby more like

 **Ohnogo:** ....

 **Ohnogo:** @HORNEDOWL

 **HORNEDOWL:** oH! 

**HORNEDOWL:** I may have..

 **HORNEDOWL:** yk

 **HORNEDOWL:** given them permission? 

**CalmDownBokuto:** Bokuto-san... 

**datboii:** why did you do that? 

**HORNEDOWL:** well Taiga, the captain of the basketball team, got me the train tickets to Sendai 

**HORNEDOWL:** So I may or may not have told him that they could all use our court in return

 **HORNEDOWL:** but it was during those academic meetings w all the activity captains and shiz 

**HORNEDOWL:** so I guess some of them thought that the ‘all’ was meant for their teams too? 

**CalmDownBokuto:** ...

 **CalmDownBokuto:** that wasn’t smart

 **HORNEDOWL:** AHGKAHSJSISIS

 **HORNEDOWL:** :’(

 **CalmDownBokuto:** when compared to all the other sports team at our school we’re the ones who contribute the most to funding and attracting students

 **CalmDownBokuto:** the Baseball, tennis and basketball teams are good but only because they’ve got the resources and the only reason they have them in the first place is because of the volleyball team alumni

 **Masterofall:** that was lowkey shady

 **CalmDownBokuto:** now they know that they can take advantage of you by offering you free stuff 

**CalmDownBokuto:** so whenever someone from another team approaches you please tell me and I’ll take care of it

 **HORNEDOWL:** sorry keiji :( 

**CalmDownBokuto:** I’m not mad at you

 **HORNEDOWL:** :D

 **washywashy:** so..

 **washywashy:** what’re we supposed to do? 

**CalmDownBokuto:** idk if they have practice on Saturdays but you could call Kuroo and ask Nekoma if you can practice w them? 

**datboii:** or channel some of that BDE and steal their courts right back 

**Ohnogo:** jumping and slamming our hands against the basketball boards until they hopefully break? 

**kirby:** sounds like a fucking plan

 **CalmDownBokuto:** .....

 **CalmDownBokuto:** give them hell

 **Masterofall:** yes chief

 **Ohnogo:** aye aye vice cap’n 

_7 people are offline_

**CalmDownBokuto:** you know you’ll have to make it up to them right? 

**HORNEDOWL:** yeAH 

**HORNEDOWL:** I’ll start right away! 

_~ los capitanesss ~_

**HORNEDOWL:** guyssss...

 **KittySatan:** that is not a good sign

 **KittySatan:** what’s up bro? 

**Dadchi:** he wants something 

**HORNEDOWL:** mayhaps 

**DaddyMaterial:** What is it you need, Bokuto? 

**HORNEDOWL:** so I sort of gave away our courts to the other sports teams

 **snek:** that must’ve gone down well with your team

 **HORNEDOWL:** I need to make it up to them!

 **S.Kita:** It’s only right that you do so

 **DaddyMaterial:** I’m not sure why you’re telling us about this

 **HORNEDOWL:** well... remember how I’d told you about my team wanting to organise another training camp?

 **snek:** oh hell no

 **snek:** we’re already basically practicing till our arms fall off

 **HORNEDOWL:** think of the comraderie though! 

**KittySatan:** I don’t mind, but I still haven’t understood where you want to put 11 teams 

**S.Kita:** our school is big enough but it’s far away for you all

 **Dadchi:** yeah if we’re really planning on organising this it has to be either in Tokyo or in Miyagi

 **cleanestboi:** I don’t want any of you spreading germs in my school

 **manipulator:** as usual 

**manipulator:** thanks Sakusa

 **fuckboi:** I’m pretty sure that those who have only one gym for vb are out of the question 

**DaddyMaterial:** we have enough space

 **Spaceboi:** ...

 **HORNEDOWL:** yES 

**HORNEDOWL:** please ushiwaka pleaaaaase

 **DaddyMaterial:** I don’t mind 

**Spaceboi:** ...

 **Dadchi:** if there’s not enough space sometimes then we can drag some of them to run near our school 

**DaddyMaterial:** that’s alright, Shiratorizawa Academy is big enough 

**DaddyMaterial:** and if the campus or courts end up not being able to comfortably fit us all 

**DaddyMaterial:** then we’ll just steal from the other teams 

**MontyPython:** aren’t they going to complain? 

**DaddyMaterial:** if they do I’ll remind them who it is that pays for their practice camps 

**movable:** so it’s all settled then? 

**Spaceboi:** ...

 **Dadchi:** ....fine I’ll be the one to ask

 **Dadchi:** what’s up Oikawa? 

**Spaceboi:** WE CAN’T POSSIBLY GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA 

**Dadchi:** stop acting like a toddler 

**Dadchi:** unless you don’t want Seijoh to attend? 

**Spaceboi:** ....

 **Spaceboi:** fine 

**movable:** thanks daddy! 

**Dadchi:** can you not? 

**Dadchi:** I’m still not entirely sure that you’re actually the Kamomedai captain 

**Dadchi:** the same goes for Sakusa

 **movable:** well the actual captains have yet to participate in dialogue and we haven’t exactly seen them either

 **S.Kita:** ??

 **movable:** but the author obviously doesn’t want these schools to skip out 

**Spaceboi:** author? 

**cleanestboi:** so Hirugami and I are now captains

 **KittySatan:** that’s not exactly how it works bud

 **Dadchi:** stop it with the 4th wall breaks 

**fuckboi:** I am confusioned

 **manipulator:** stop quoting vines, thanks 

_~ chat: Shit Down ~_

_19:30 pm_

**killme:** Tanaka are you home? 

**DomainDopeman:** uh yeah? 

**killme:** great

 **killme:** I’m coming over 

**Eh-no-shit:** what? 

**killme:** his sister isn’t over 

**Eh-no-shit:** so that gives you clearance to come over? 

**Eh-no-shit:** might I remind you that he’s my boyfriend? 

**killme:** I’m not interested in your baldy

 **DomainDopeman:** I’M NOT BALD

 **DomainDopeman:** but I still don’t understand

 **killme:** well if I know that your sister isn’t home where do you think she could be

 **DomainDopeman:** oh

 **DomainDopeman:** ohhhhh

 **DomainDopeman:** ugh don’t make me throw up 

**memes4life:** ?? 

**killme:** Let’s just say that if you have younger siblings

 **killme:** please be mindful of them when you bring your s/o home

 **Sugar:** wait wait wait

 **NishinOYA:** SAEKO NEE-SAN IS DATING YOUR BROTHER?! 

**killme:** unofficially, yes

 **DomainDopeman:** I’ll start setting out the guest futon 

**killme:** oh god it just got worse

 **DomainDopeman:** what happened? 

**killme:** the third member of the party got here while I was putting my shoes on 

**DomainDopeman:** hurry please

 **DomainDopeman:** I’m not sure you’ll be alive tomorrow if you don’t 

**killme:** I’m trying to escape him and my brother, they’re trying to _talk_ to me

 **Naruto:** because that’s just horrible huh?

 **killme:** you don’t understand

 **Eh-no-shit:** who is the third person? 

**killme:** ...

 **DomainDopeman:** Udai Tenma 

**Tangerineman:** AHHHHHHHH THE LITTLE GIANT IS DATING A TSUKISHIMA 

**killme:** unofficially 

**killme:** they still haven’t really talked about it 

**Deadass:** as interesting as hearing about the love lives of those who joined the team after I graduated is

 **Deadass:** I need to remind you to be careful getting to Tanaka’s house Tsukishima

 **Deadass:** it’s raining so grab an umbrella

 **killme:** I’ll be careful 

**Deadass:** tell us when you get there 

_20:15 pm_

**DomainDopeman:** he’s here

 **Anxiety:** thanks Tanaka! 

**Sugar:** the idea of Tanaka and Tsukishima being brothers-in-law seems strangely normal

 **killme:** they aren’t even officially dating yet

 **killme:** let alone married

 **DomainDopeman:** I’LL TAKE CARE OF MY BROTHER-IN-LAW 

**killme:** thanks ig 

_22:00 pm_

**Dadchi:** I’ve got some news guys! 

**Sugar:** oh? 

**Dadchi:** we still need to hash out the last details

 **Dadchi:** but we organised a new training camp

 **killme:** another one? 

**Tangerineman:** YUSSS 

**Dadchi:** it’ll be held at Shiratorizawa 

**Sugar:** I expected the other half of the idiot duo to be asking questions as usual

 **Tangerineman:** he’s out getting groceries (0_<)/

 **Anxiety:** isn’t it a tad late? Is anything even open?

 **Tangerineman:** he went to the convenience store

 **Tangerineman:** because apparently he messed up making himself curry so he hasn’t eaten yet 

**killme:** dumbass 

**Deadass** : I’ll yell at him about that tomorrow 

**Sugar** : are you still with Bokuto and Akaashi, Hinata? 

**Dadchi** : no they’re at my place now 

**Tangerineman** : yeah I’m playing vb in my back yard

 **Deadass** : can you go rest? Like right now? And stop over exerting yourself?

 **Tangerineman** : .... fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DaddyMaterial - Ushijima  
> Semiretired - Semi  
> Benkei - Reon  
> Miracleboi - Tendou  
> meACE - Goshiki  
> Setterboo - Shirabu  
> GingerMinge - Taichi  
> Yam - Yamagata  
> Manlyman - Yusho  
> bata - Shibata  
> Sugar - Suga  
> Yahoe - Yahaba  
> killme - Tsukishima  
> CalmDownBokuto - Akaashi  
> SlutForMakki- Matsukawa  
> SlutForMattsun- Hanamaki  
> wet - Watari  
> HurricaneTortilla- Iwaizumi  
> MontyPython - Moniwa  
> TurnupTurnip - Kindaichi  
> dont - Kunimi

_~ chat: I’m an Eagle, bitch ~_

_11:00 am_

**Yam:** why did they cancel practice today? 

**meACE:** because their dumb

**Setterboo:** they’re*

**DaddyMaterial:** I share your sentiment, Goshiki

**DaddyMaterial:** but since tomorrow is a bank holiday the cleaners aren’t going to be able to work 

**DaddyMaterial:** so they needed to do the heavy cleaning today 

**Miracleboi:** ಠ_ಠ

**GingerMinge:** oh you’re back

**Miracleboi:** I got a new phone! :D

**DaddyMaterial:** try not to smash this one 

**Miracleboi:** no promises ;) 

**meACE:** no fair! Now we’ll be missing out on two days of practice >:(

**meACE:** I’d practice in a dirty gym if I had to 

**Yam:** easy? 

**meACE:** EAAAAAAAASYYYYY

**Setterboo:** stop it with the references 

**Setterboo:** anyway I would rather not practice in a pig sty 

**Setterboo:** and the training camp is in a little more than a week, we won’t present ourselves as a dirty school, now, will we? 

**meACE:** ...I guess not

**Semiretired:** you can tell that Shirabu got here academically 

**Setterboo:** huh? What’s that supposed to mean? 

**Miracleboi:** that you’re a stuck up :p

**Semiretired:** like every other student in this school

**GingerMinge:** even if we didn’t have amazing sports teams this school would still be labelled as a ‘private school for stuck-up rich kids’ 

**Benkei:** or, alternatively, a ‘rich bitch school’ 

**Miracleboi:** you’re the light of my life Reon

**Benkei:** thanks, I try

**DaddyMaterial:** since we can’t practice today I urge you to choose whether you are going to work out today or tomorrow and rest whichever day you do not choose 

**Setterboo:** says the one who will most likely work out both days >:/

**DaddyMaterial:** well, of course, I’m the ace

**Setterboo:** If I have to drag you to our dorm and lock you in to make sure you rest, I will 

**Yam:** I would take any threat coming out of Shirabu’s mouth very seriously 

**Miracleboi:** we wouldn’t want a repeat of The Accident™️ :/ 

**GingerMinge:** I just heard Semi’s awful shriek laugh from the other end of the hallway

**Manlyman:** should I check on him? 

**Semiretired:** nah I’m just watching a rerun of a Fukurōdani match 

**bata:** and it’s...

**bata:** funny? 

**Semiretired:** I have never seen a single match of theirs that wasn’t absolutely hilarious 

**Semiretired:** it’s like a sitcom but better 

**Benkei:** I actually agree with you on this one

**Yam:** are they even aware of how hilarious they are? 

**Setterboo:** if they are, they definitely take it with stride 

**Semiretired:** Man, I love them

**Setterboo:** _Gee, I wonder why_

**Semiretired:** now listen here you little bitch 

**Yam:** Semi’s crush on the owl is going to drive me mad 

**GingerMinge** : girls are cute but 

**Miracleboi** : can’t believe you’d betray me like this ;-;

**GingerMinge** : _boys_

**Benkei** : specifically, _volleyball boys_

**bata** : my aro ass can relate so much on a sexual level

**Semiretired** : the little bitch just came into my room screaming 

**GingerMinge** : yeah, I can hear him alongside you now, this cacophony is just getting better eh? 

**Benkei:** what is he even screaming about? 

**Yam:** check the hallway 

**Benkei:** oh

**Benkei:** oH 

**Benkei:** my eyes have been #blessed 

**bata:** thank Jesus for morning showers

**DaddyMaterial:** yes, they are quite good, I myself have just had one

**Setterboo:** wE kNoW 

_Semiretired created a chat called “Shirabu get your shit together”_

_Semiretired added Setterboo, Miracleboi, Yam, Benkei, GingerMinge, bata, Manlyman, meACE, Sugar, Yahoe, CalmDownBokuto, killme_

**Setterboo:** ...

**Setterboo:** fuck you

**Semiretired:** I even added some of your friends to help you out! 

**Semiretired:** well, other than Akaashi who is also here to maintain my sanity

**Setterboo:** why don’t you keep your boner for Konoha in check before trying to do shit like this

**Miracleboi:** ohoho strong words from someone who has to cool off for 10 minutes after seeing Wakatoshi shirtless

**Setterboo:** don’t try it

**Setterboo:** we all know that I could address the elephant in the room

**Miracleboi:** ... what e l e p h a n t in the room?

**Setterboo:** oh you know

**Setterboo:** the thing that is going on between you, Taichi and Reon that you don’t address

**Yahoe:** man I wasn’t expecting to get a first seat to some lovely Shiratorizawa drama this morning, but boy oh boy am I loving it

**killme:** why am I here

**Semiretired:** you’re Shirabu’s salty friend

**killme:** ah, of course

**Sugar:** I think what we should be asking is; what is this chat for? 

**bata:** Shirabu needs to man up and ask Ushijima-senpai out 

**Sugar:** oooh! Match making! 

**Sugar:** count me in 

**Semiretired:** and that’s why you’re here 

**killme:** why didn’t you add Oikawa then? 

**killme:** wait I see the error in my words

**killme:** this is a Shiratorizawa chat 

**Yahoe:** that and it’s setter code to never include Oikawa in anything we do 

**Semiretired:** except if we need him to pay

**Yam:** because that’s great and not bully behaviour at all

**Yahoe:** nahhh we love him

**Benkei** : sure ya do

**killme:** what pushed you to finally make this chat? 

**Benkei** : a shirtless Ushijima 

**Setterboo:** after a shower, may I add

**Semiretired:** I got fed up after the 50th freak out

**Sugar:** yeah I definitely see the appeal in Ushijima 

**Yahoe:** everyone does

**Yahoe:** he’s...

**GingerMinge:** hot

**Yahoe:** exactly

**Yahoe:** he is absolutely spiteful though I have no idea what you see in him

**killme:** actually I’m pretty sure the awful personality works for him

**Setterboo:** shut up bitches he’s great

**Sugar:** honestly he can’t be that bad

**bata:** nothing beats your son’s crush 

**Sugar:** this is about Yamaguchi isn’t it? 

**Manlyman:** ye

**GingerMinge** : if it’s who I think it is

**killme** : it is

**GingerMinge** : best shut the fuck up then

**Sugar** : gee I’m having dejavu

**Sugar** : sTOP IT WITH THIS WEIRD CHARADE AND JUST TELL ME 

**killme** : so what are your plans with the big oaf? 

**Miracleboi** : way to be subtle tsukki :3

**killme** : how about you never call me that again? 

**Setterboo:** I don’t _know_ what my plans with him are because he isn’t taking a single fucking hint 

**Sugar:** not to sound mean, this is purely informative, but

**Sugar:** has he shown interest in you? 

**Semiretired:** he most definitely has 

**Semiretired:** getting pissed off whenever anyone so much as calls him out for the little shit he is

**Benkei:** he also stares at him a lot

**Miracleboi:** he once told me that ‘Shirabu is quite a fine young man, don’t you think?’

**Miracleboi:** which in Waka language translates to ‘damn that’s a hot piece of ass right there’

**Yam:** did I need that image in my head? 

**Yam:** the answer is no

**meACE:** just talk to him senpai! 

**Setterboo:** oh you sweet summer child

**Setterboo:** you have yet to know the magical spice of life; anxiety

**CalmDownBokuto:** spice up your life 

**Sugar:** and keiji shows up quoting spice girls

**Sugar:** what more can you want from this man? 

**CalmDownBokuto:** what is Ushijima doing right now? 

**GingerMinge:** uhh

**GingerMinge:** not sure

**CalmDownBokuto:** Shirabu go ask him

**Setterboo:** he said he’s getting ready to go for a run 

**Sugar:** did you just grab your phone and text us as soon as he replied? 

**Benkei:** I’m sure Wakatoshi wouldn’t care either way 

**killme:** and shirabu has the weird ability of texting whilst talking without the other person realising that he’s texting

**Sugar:** that’s oddly convenient 

**Setterboo:** he asked me to go with him 

**CalmDownBokuto:** so go? 

**Setterboo:** but I don’t want to make him wait while I change 

**Setterboo:** aasgwuuseinw

**bata:** gay keyboard smash? 

**Yam:** ye

**Manlyman:** Ushijima just told him ‘I’ll wait for you to change and when we’re finished running we can go to that book store you’ve been talking about frequently’ 

**Sugar:** OWO what’s this? 

**killme:** kill yourself 

**killme:** and then me

**killme:** preferably now

**Yahoe:** tell me that Shirabu said yes I’m begging you

**Semiretired:** he did, after an agonisingly long silence

**CalmDownBokuto:** now that’s done, I’m going to go stop Bokuto and Hinata from stealing a cat 

_CalmDownBokuto is offline_

**Yahoe:** that man 

**Yahoe:** showed up, scored Shirabu a notdate in the middle of chaos and then left 

**bata:** no one is doing it like him

**Yam:** amen to that

**Setterboo:** hnnnngh boys in shorts

**Manlyman:** aMEN TO THAT

**Sugar:** now can we help Yahaba out? 

**Sugar:** It’s starting to physically pain me when I see him and angery boy interacting 

**GingerMinge:** ‘angery boy’

**Sugar:** If you think that I will ever let myself call him ‘mad dog’ you are mistaken 

**Yahoe:** you know what

**Yahoe:** fine, but only because I’m thirsty

**Yahoe:** but if we’re doing this I’m going to need my support group and a different chat 

**killme** : let me guess

**killme** : you don’t want to do this in a Shiratorizawa-made chat? 

**Yahoe** : exactly

**Yahoe** : also, some of these people (like you salt man) aren’t fit to be privy to all my emotional troubles

**killme:** and thank god for that

**Setterboo:** this is not a date

**Setterboo:** but I will update you this evening 

**Semiretired:** k 

**Semiretired:** btw yahoeba 

**Yahoe:** I am _disgusted_

**Semiretired:** don’t include me either

**Yahoe:** wasn’t going to you stinky mofo 

**Yam:** don’t come for his stank 

**Semiretired:** I regret adding Yahaba to this chat 

_Yahoe created a chat ‘Your favourite thirsty hoe’s support group’_

_Yahoe added SlutForMattsun, SlutForMakki, Setterboo, wet, TurnupTurnip, dont, HurricaneTortilla, Sugar, MontyPython_

**Yahoe:** bitches help me tf out

**wet:** let me guess

**wet:** kyoutani? 

**Setterboo:** your guess would be correct

**Yahoe:** Shirabu I don’t want to hear from your crusty ass for at least an hour 

**Yahoe:** you will enjoy the notdate and then report back to the chat

**Setterboo:** k, bitch

**MontyPython:** are they friends or...?

**HurricaneTortilla:** your guess is as good as ours

**SlutForMattsun:** oooh we can finally put more money in the betting pool

**SlutForMakki:** time to start getting the big bucks out 

**HurricaneTortilla:** ah fuck 

**Sugar:** ?? 

**HurricaneTortilla:** somehow they bet on the actual outcome 90% of the time

**HurricaneTortilla:** so what you hear is me going bankrupt

**Sugar:** all I hear is the eternal screaming that comes with living in this misery of a life 

**HurricaneTortilla:** exactly

**MontyPython:** stop pretending you’re moody suga 

**Sugar:** :p

**SlutForMakki** : we have absolutely earned enough to raise a dog for 5 years

**TurnupTurnip:** that’s oddly specific 

**Yahoe:** can we go back to helping me get a man? 

**dont:** if we really have to 

**SlutForMakki:** I don’t really see what the problem is 

**SlutForMakki:** you’re a thirsty ass hoe

**SlutForMattsun:** he’s a thirsty ass angry man 

**Yahoe:** yeah but how do I get him to make a move on me

**MontyPython:** why don’t you make it?

**wet:** because Yahaba has a weird set of rules when it comes to getting himself a man

**Yahoe:** 1\. I make them make the first move 

**dont:** it boosts his ego or something 

**Yahoe:** no it just proves to me that I really am a hoe 

**dont:** oh of course

**Yahoe:** 2\. When I get confessed to my reply will under no circumstances be ‘me too’ 

**Sugar:** what the hell do you even do then? 

**Yahoe:** either make out with them or smth along those lines

**wet:** okay that’s enough of your messed up head for today 

**HurricaneTortilla:** I just don’t see it as likely that Kyoutani will make the first move

**SlutForMakki:** unless he gets really irritated and makes out with you 

**SlutForMattsun:** but then he would probably run away from all of that 

**HurricaneTortilla:** I think you’re going to have to make the first move

**Yahoe** : ew no

**HurricaneTortilla** : or at least find a middle ground where you’re both pushing for something more

**Yahoe** : that I can attempt 

**TurnupTurnip** : can we go now? Otherwise the line at the froyo place will be too long 

**dont** : it really won’t 

**Yahoe** : yeah sure

**Yahoe** : we’ll regroup after the next development 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/
> 
> Finally used our boy Tendou whooooo


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Appearing in this chapter;  
> Tangerineman - Hinata  
> Sugar - Sugawara  
> Deadass - Ukai Keishin  
> killme - Tsukishima Kei  
> Dadchi - Daichi  
> jesus - Asahi  
> NishinOYA - Nishinoya  
> DomainDopeman - Tanaka  
> Gucciman - Yamaguchi  
> SwageyamaTobiyolo - Kageyama  
> Semiretired - Semi  
> KOGANE - Koganegawa  
> Takemeout - Takeharu  
> Kozoom - Kenma  
> Setterboo - Shirabu  
> Yahoe - Yahaba  
> Spaceboi - Oikawa  
> pervert - Miya Atsumu  
> CalmDownBokuto - Akaashi

_~ chat: Shit Down ~_

_7:00 am_

**Tangerineman:** I need a tip 

**Gucciman:** pro tip! 

**Tangerineman:** if I have been awake for over 48 hours

 **Tangerineman:** should I be concerned? 

**jesus:** the answer to that wouldn’t be a tip...

 **Sugar:** should _I_ be concerned? 

**jesus:** what are you even doing to stay up so long

 **killme:** stupid shit 

**Tangerineman:** I will not confirm or deny that 

**Tangerineman:** especially when it’s coming from you 

**Gucciman:** did you stay up with him again tsukki? 

**killme:** only for half the time 

**Sugar:** I should be concerned shouldn’t I 

**killme:** sleep is overrated 

**Gucciman:** stop that 

**jesus:** Kageyama is reading 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** yeah I’m on break from my morning run 

**Sugar:** but it’s 7 am? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** yeah 

**Sugar:** you run every day before school? 

**Tangerineman:** good luck getting him to stop

 **Tangerineman:** I think it’s family tradition or something 

**Deadass:** I think we should get back to you being awake for two days straight 

**Tangerineman:** oh yeah 

**Tangerineman:** so what do I do? 

**Deadass:** sleep 

**Deadass:** that much should be clear 

**Tangerineman:** but I can’t skip school 

**Deadass:** fuck 

**Deadass:** you’ve got me there 

**Sugar:** yeah I don’t see you ever being a responsible adult, coach 

**Deadass:** Thanks Suga

 **Deadass:** then go to school and rest later?

 **Tangerineman:** but practice! 

**Deadass:** you’ve got me there 

**Sugar:** I should call Takeda

 **Deadass:** wait!

 **Sugar:** or Akaashi

 **Deadass:** I’ve got it! 

**Deadass:** practice camp starts in two days so if you practice more when you’re there you’ll make up for the practice you lost today 

**Sugar:** he finally got it!! 

**Gucciman:** Ukai has unlocked the ability: volleyball dumbass language 

**Sugar:** he’s pretty smart when it comes to volleyball

 **Sugar:** but I wouldn’t trust him to take care of an egg

 **Gucciman:** aside from badgering it to go home and eat a meal 

**Sugar:** oh of course 

**Deadass:** thanks guys 

**Gucciman:** hasn’t your mum noticed that you haven’t been sleeping for two days? 

**Tangerineman:** nah 

**Tangerineman:** I usually go to sleep later and I wake up earlier than her 

**jesus** : what do you even do all night? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo** : he sends me memes 

**killme** : he FaceTimes with me 

**Sugar** : still though,

 **Sugar:** you really should take care of yourself and sleep

 **Sugar:** otherwise you’ll eventually crash and burn 

**Tangerineman:** yeah.. I know

 **Tangerineman:** I’ll try harder to follow my sleep schedule

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo:** I’ll make him 

**Sugar:** Thanks Kageyama 

**killme:** now that all that emotional bullshit is out of the way

 **jesus:** you truly have a way with words

 **killme:** can someone please come and chase the supervisor away 

**Deadass:** ah shit

 **Sugar:** she’s back at the gym?

 **killme:** yup 

**Tangerineman:** I still don’t understand why she keeps coming back 

**killme:** it’s your fault actually

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo:** yeah dumbass

 **jesus:** I’m pretty sure it’s actually Bokuto and Ushijima’s fault

 **Deadass:** Hinata was the one who opened the gym though 

**Tangerineman:** oh

 **Tangerineman:** how does she even know that we let a bunch of teams onto school grounds?

 **Deadass:** apparently someone complained 

**killme:** Tanaka got here and he’s distracting her by yelling about turkeys in the classrooms

 **Gucciman:** that’ll get her attention

 **jesus:** yeah but when she goes in the classrooms and finds out that there aren’t turkeys we’ll be in trouble

 **DomainDopeman:** there are though 

**Sugar:** w h a t 

**NishinOYA:** yeah 

**Sugar:** I’m not even going to ask

 **Tangerineman:** that’s so cool!

 **Tangerineman:** can we go pet them??

 **NishinOYA:** sure Shouyou!! I’ll take you to them!! 

**Dadchi:** I only want to know one thing 

**Dadchi:** no need to tell me the details

 **Dadchi:** is it somehow your fault? 

**NishinOYA:** nah, don’t think so

 **killme:** don’t think so? 

**NishinOYA:** yeah

 **Dadchi:** thank goodness 

**DomainDopeman:** can I open the gym now that she’s gone? 

**Sugar:** yeah go ahead 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** I’m almost there 

**jesus:** I’m still utterly confused as to what the hell Kageyama’s screen name is 

**Sugar:** just a lil’ old inside joke 

**Sugar:** the readers will get it

 **jesus:** readers??

 **killme:** and if they don’t then they’re still babies probably 

**Sugar:** exactly

 **Dadchi:** I thought I’d already told you to stop breaking the fourth wall 

**Sugar:** only when you stop flirting with Michimiya 

**NishinOYA** : ah, the lovely scent of tea in the morning

 **jesus** : noya no 

**Deadass** : shut up and get your asses to practice 

**Tangerineman** : aye aye!

 **DomainDopeman** : he’s got a turkey with him

 **Sugar** : Hinata no!!

 **jesus** : that’ll just make the supervisor come back! 

**Gucciman:** okay he let it go 

**Deadass:** if you’re not here in the next five minutes I’m making you run laps until you’d rather have Washijo as a coach 

**Tangerineman:** coming!

 **Deadass:** we’ve already established that you’re not practicing today

 **Tangerineman:** :(

 **Deadass:** you can watch 

**Tangerineman:** :D

 **SwageyamaTobiyolo:** it’s your fault for not sleeping

 **Tangerineman:** shut up Swageyama! 

**killme:** did you really just use that unironically? 

**Gucciman:** don’t question it

_~ chat: pervert setters ~_

_15:37 pm_

**Semiretired:** I think I need to prep mentally

 **KOGANE:** For??

 **Kozoom:** for spending two weeks in close proximity to Konoha

 **Setterboo:** I don’t think you’ll ever be able to ask him out 

**Semiretired:** I don’t see you making any progress with Ushiwaka

 **Setterboo:** not true

 **Setterboo:** I am now able to ask him if he wants to go on a run 

**Kozoom:** is that an ability you’ve unlocked?

 **Sugar:** I’m seeing a lot of that today 

**pervert:** I’m personally overjoyed that I’ll be seeing Shinji 

**Setterboo:** I’m not

 **Setterboo:** if I see you anywhere near him I’m leaving the room 

**Yahoe:** I don’t need my innocent eyes to suffer through that

 **Spaceboi:** pfft ‘innocent’ 

**Yahoe:** I will not take this slander 

**CalmDownBokuto:** how about we FaceTime tomorrow to get all our complaining out of the way? 

**pervert:** sounds good to me 

**Sugar:** sure 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** I need to get a shit load off my chest

 **Spaceboi:** oh wow you’re actually going to talk about your feelings without it being via text? 

**SwageyamaTobiyolo:** maybe I shouldn’t if you’re there 

**Spaceboi:** nooo

 **Kozoom:** can it be after 11:00 am? 

**Takemeout:** fine by me 

**Semiretired:** see y’all tomorrow then 

**Takemeout:** aight 

**Yahoe:** (aight aight aight aight aight) 

**Setterboo:** (you got me feeling like a feeling like a papillon) 

**Yahoe:** fuck you

 **Setterboo:** the feeling is mutual

 **Takemeout:** I still think you’re secretly best friends

 **Semiretired:** best not to question it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dadchi - Daichi  
> DaddyMaterial - Ushijima  
> Setterboo - Shirabu  
> Takemeout - Takeharu  
> Spaceboi/Oinkawa - Oikawa  
> HurricaneTortilla - Iwaizumi  
> pervert - Miya Atsumu  
> betterhalf - Miya Osamu  
> S.Kita - Shinsuke Kita  
> Everesto - Gao Hakuba  
> washywashy - Washio  
> screeching - Sarukui  
> fuckyeah - Numai  
> cleanestboi - Sakusa  
> MontyPython - Moniwa  
> Imadog - Shibayama  
> Kozoom - Kenma  
> kirby - Shirofuku  
> freckles - Kaori  
> Semiretired - Semi  
> Miracleboi - Tendou  
> Yam - Yamagata  
> NishinOYA - Nishinoya  
> bata - Shibata  
> wet - Watari  
> Yahoe - Yahaba  
> Kickit - Yaku  
> Fuckboi - Terushima

_~ chat: everyone you’ve ever fucking met ~_

_9:00 am_

**Dadchi:** We are approaching Shiratorizawa

 **DaddyMaterial:** We’ll head down to greet you

 **Setterboo:** ugh I have to move then

 **DaddyMaterial** : I could carry you if you’d like  
  
**TakemeOut:** these are some new developments I’m not opposed to

 **Spaceboi:** Yak

 **HurricaneTortilla:** Get your yak away from _my_ face

 **pervert:** we are still very far away 😔

 **betterhalf:** yeah we’ll probably get there by dinner time if traffic doesn’t get worse

 **S.Kita:** We’ll keep you updated

 **Everesto:** we left at 6 am so we’ll get there in a few more hours, around 12 am or so

 **washywashy:** and we’ll get there an hour earlier

 **screeching:** we might not get there in one piece though

 **fuckyeah:** mmm depends on how this progresses 

**cleanestboi:** I knew we should’ve gotten separate buses 

**MontyPython:** does anyone care to explain?

 **Imadog:** Kuroo and Daishou are screaming at each other

 **Kozoom:** like little piss boys, might I add

 **kirby:** our boys are wreaking havoc, as usual

 **freckles:** with Bokuto as their ring leader

 **Semiretired:** God, I’d pay to see that

 **Setterboo:** We know you would 

**Semiretired:** what’s that supposed to mean you little shit

 **Setterboo:** 👀 

**Semiretired:** I never wanna see you use another emoji ever again

 **Miracleboi:** if your weird obsession with watching Fukurodani match reruns is anything to go by-

 **Semiretired:** how about you shut your mouth 

**Yam:** oH Konoha~

 **Semiretired:** you better stop

 **NishinOYA:** (stoOOOOP)

 **pervert:** (bitch sTOP)

 **fuckyeah:** update: Akaashi is ready to kill us all and Komori is about to start breakdancing

 **bata:** and here I thought he was calm

 **wet:** we got here so there might be another murder

 **wet:** I’ll keep yall posted if Oinkawa does, in fact, murder Ushijima

 **pervert:** OINKAWA

 **Yahoe:** oink oink he’s a pig bitch

 **Dadchi:** please stop spamming the chat, Ukai is going to kill you all because of the notifications 

**Kickit:** anyone who doesn’t have this chat muted is a dumbass but sure

 **fuckboi:** see yall hoes later

_Semiretired changed ‘Spaceboi’s name to ‘Oinkawa’_

_18 pm_

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

”Sure, what can they do to us?”

”you’re forgetting our coach isn’t exactly an angel”

Nishinoya looked at Shibayama like he’d grown an extra head. “I doubt he’d punish us for _this_ ” he exclaimed, gesturing towards the ingredients that were just waiting to be strewn all over the kitchen.   
  


“Besides” Tanaka started, already pulling an apron on, “we’re doing this for a _very_ good cause...Shimizu” 

Yusho looked at the pair sceptically “not to pry, but, don’t the both of you have boyfriend?” He asked as he started setting the other things that were needed up, already resigned to his fate. Takeharu did the same, giving him a sympathetic look.

”Yeah but Shimizu is still a goddess and deserves to be worshipped by everyone, not just her almost-girlfriend” Nishinoya announced stoically as he tied the knot on his apron.  
  


The six second years worked together in silence, surprisingly, with the occasional quip from Watari. At some point in the middle of it they roped Hinata and Kageyama, both of them just out of the shower, in and Terushima, who had been passing by, eagerly joined. With these new additions they slowly began their descent into chaos. Starting with a comment from Kageyama that for some reason made Hinata flush and throw the flour in the air and continuing with Nishinoya betting that he could catch any food thrown at him with his mouth, resulting in broken egg shells and the beginning of an all-out food war. It was safe to say that by the time they calmed down, the concoction in the oven had come out burnt and the kitchen was a mess by the time the managers came in to start making dinner.   
  


In the back of his head, Terushima thought that the food war was definitely worth the subsequent scolding that they’d received, along with the punishment of cleaning everything up because the satanic coach was distracted by the arrival of the Inarizaki boys.

_22 pm_

Sugawara cracked an eye open and glanced at the sleeping body beside him, admiring the sleeping features of his boyfriend before groaning because of the stifling heat that filled the room. He looked around the mass of sleeping teenagers, they’d decided the sleeping arrangements by year other than the Shiratorizawa students that slept in their dorm, much to Semi’s dismay. However, all these bodies piled together resulted in an insufferable heat that Suga definitely couldn’t sleep through, especially with Daichi’s body stuck to his. Slowly, he peeled himself off of the captain and carefully made his way across the bodies to open the door to the hallway, hoping to let some fresh air in. After standing in the fresh air for a second he turned to go back inside but stopped when he noticed someone in the hallway.

Standing in the hallway, clearly trying to sneak around, was one Numai Kazuma. Deciding to unfortunately ignore the awaiting arms of his boyfriend, Suga quietly closed the door, to the chagrin of those who were half awake and had enjoyed the feeling of the gentle breeze on their skin.   
  


“You know, it’s not like they’re patrolling the hallways, you don’t have to sneak around” 

Numai whipped around, surprised at being discovered. Sheepishly, he brought a hand to the back of his neck and offered a smile. “Yeah...That’s what Futakuchi said”

Suga raised an eyebrow, smirking at the thought of him being found out by a second year too. Slowly, he approached the windowsill and leaned on it, gesturing for the other third year to join him. “So, where are you sneaking off to?”

Laughing nervously, Numai fiddled with the ends of his thread bracelet. “I’m just going to check if all the first years are asleep”

Suga decided to ignore how creepy that was. Going with “If _all_ the first years are asleep, huh?” instead, a knowing smirk gracing his features.

Numai groaned, running a hand on his face “yeah, yeah, I’m going to see if _Kuguri_ is asleep. Happy now?”   
  


Suga smiled triumphantly and looked out of the open window, noticing that in one of the dorm rooms across from them, where the Shiratorizawa boys were sleeping, a light was still turned on. He spoke without tearing his eyes away “Why are you going to visit him in the middle of the night?”

”I’m not- I don’t know” The spiker admitted, eyes falling to the ground. “I probably wouldn’t even speak to him if he was awake...I’m too much of a coward. Even though we berate him all the time for not being lively enough, he’s no coward and wouldn’t be scared of facing me”

” Why are you nervous though?”

”Because, well- this is my third year and I still have no clue where I’m going but if I don’t stay in Tokyo it’s going to be hard. I’m not going to put him in a situation where he’s committed to me but I’m not there and he doesn’t know how to break it off. He’s younger, and I want him to have fun in high school without worrying about his college boyfriend. Besides, I don’t even know if he really likes me or if he just thinks of our flirting as a joke”

Suga sighed, internally cursing the universe to hell and back for attracting all the insecure and lost teenagers to seek his advice. “Why don’t you let him decide for himself?”

”What?”

”Aside from the fact that you might stay in Tokyo, I think he has the presence of mind to decide whether or not he’s ready for the sort of commitment you’re asking for, and he’s just two years younger, you know? You should speak to him about your feelings and if everything goes well then you’ll enjoy your third year with him as your boyfriend and then you’ll see what happens if you do go away, if he’s not ready for a long-distance relationship”

”What if it goes badly” Numai’s voice cracked and he coughed, trying to hide it “I don’t want to lose him as a friend”

”There must be a reason you fell for him, no? Other than being, and I quote from the third year chat, ‘So insanely hot that I’d thank him if he tried to drown me in a river of my own tears”

A wet laugh echoed in the hallway “He-He’s not loud, or boisterous. But he’s good, so, so good and he shows it in the most discrete and kind ways, even though he pretends to hate us. He’s also really funny”

Suga smiled at that “Well, then, if he’s as good as you say he is then there’s nothing to worry about”

Numai bit his lip before asking “Aren’t you ever worried?”

”About what?”

”About losing Daichi?”

Suga turned around to look at him, confused

”It’s just- statistically- high school couples never end up lasting long and, even though everyone here seems to have found their soulmate, aren’t these relationships probably going to end?”

”That may be true, statistically, and maybe some of them won’t last. But, for example, when you look at Bokuto and you wonder how in the hell he’d get through life without Akaashi there to help him and how Akaashi knows the list of all his weaknesses off by heart but the list of the positives is ten times as long. When you see that you know they’re not going to break up because most high school couples get together because of a need of having anyone be their significant other, or an expectation set upon them by others. Almost all of these couples got together because they work well together and life without the other wouldn’t be the same. Almost all of these relationships took the time to get to knoe each other. If you just wanna get with him because you want a boyfriend, it’s really not going to work. Be with him because you love being around him. I love Daichi and I know he loves me back even though he’s seen me through some shitty moments, so he’s not running away from me anytime soon” Suga ended with a satisfied grin.

After that speech the door to the third year sleeping quarters slid open again and Kuroo sidled out. Suga levelled him with a glare “You are not going to have Tsukishima lose any sleep. Go to bed and see him tomorrow”. Kuroo pouted, giving him a salute with a reluctant agreement of “whatever you say lieutenant”. Internally, Suga felt a bit sad about keeping them apart here even though their time together during the year was already limited

  
Beside him, Numai laughed “The double standards are real”

Suga sniffed “Well, you’re not dating one of my own”

The gray haired setter walked back to the door Kuroo had just disappeared through and gave a last, encouraging smile to Numai. “Go speak to him, it doesn’t have to be about your feelings yet but try to speak to him, and don’t stay up too late”

Numai returned the smile before disappearing down the hallway. After that, Suga went back to the arms of his boyfriend and when he shut his eyes he thought of how in the hell he had apparently become the supreme counsellor of all these children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask me anything on my tumblr page https://ezzers.tumblr.com/
> 
> Finally got around to starting the training camp! Sorry for the wait 😅
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, if there’s any suggestion or any character you’d like to see more often or would just like to express your support, please leave a comment!


End file.
